Chapter 48

Less than ten minutes later, Kellen returns, fireman-carrying Rachel who is, at first, thrashing and cussing so inventively that even Ace has to bark a laugh. “Put me down! I can walk! I swear to Christ, you Neanderthal—”

“Not takin’ any chances. Unless you want to go in the ground too, then you’re stayin’ here,” Kellen growls, ignoring her thrashing.

He tosses her down and she glares up at him with such fury it’s mildly terrifying.

“Who do you think you are?” she hisses.

“Someone tryin’ to stop you from dyin’,” Kellen mutters, standing in front of her so she can’t get back out.

“Maybe I want to die,” she screams.

The entire cave goes silent, the stark shrill of her voice and words a horrifying reminder of where we are and what is happening.

“You want to die?” Kellen says, and his voice is so low it sends shivers up my spine. “Go, go out there and give it all up. Go on, Rachel, if that’s what you want. We’re here, tryin’ our best to fuckin’ survive and if you can’t put everything in, then go. Get the fuck out.”

Horrifying silence.

My heart pounds against my chest.

Rachel stares up at him, her expression no longer angry but instead filled with the kind of shock and confusion that I don’t even think she understands.

“Did you hear me?” Kellen roars, and I flinch. “Get the fuck out. If you can’t handle it, then go. We’re doin’ the best we fuckin’ can here. We all saw her die, Rachel. We all watched her fuckin’ take her last breath and it fucked us all up, but we’re here, still fighting. What are you doing?”

A tear bursts forth and rolls down her cheek, followed by another and then another until she’s sobbing, heavy, broken sobs that rip through her whole body. Once she starts, she can’t stop and it breaks my heart. It truly does. I move, crawling over to her and putting my arms around her. Surprisingly, she lets me. A moment later, Aggie and Tati join us, and we just sit there, huddled together, doing the best we can.

Hours pass.

We eventually come apart so Rachel can lay down and sleep. I find a spot next to Ace, and set up my makeshift bed, before laying down. It isn’t as comfortable as the sand, and the rocks feel hard beneath me, but we’re out of the rain and that’s something. Every now and then, a gust of wind blows in and I shiver as a light sheen of rain washes over us, not enough to wet us, but enough to keep us cold.

The sky cracks open, a sound so huge I jerk involuntarily. Rain slams down, thick and fast after that. The ocean, once a soothing, backdrop hum, is now a wild animal, roaring and gnashing at the cliffs. There are minutes, maybe even whole hours, where I lose time, just staring into the darkness. At some point, Tatiana starts humming a tune, and I can’t help but sing softly along with her. Soon, we’re all singing, the soft chorus of women echoing through the cave.

The men don’t make a sound.

Ace pulls me to him, his warm body bringing me comfort.

I like that he searches for me when he needs someone.

But it scares me, it scares me in a way I refuse to admit.

Because it feels like I have known him a lifetime, and I wonder...

How will I ever let him go?

I MUST EVENTUALLY FALLasleep, because the next thing I remember is Ace moving, rolling his big body away from mine as he sits up. The ground feels slightly damp under my hip, and I groan as I move, sitting up. It’s light out now, and light peeks through the cave entrance, as if nothing ever happened.

Just like that, everything is back to normal.

Nobody wants to be the first to go outside, scared of what we might find. The trees could be gone. The fruit thrown from trees. The shelter, maybe just fragments twisted and tossed across the sand. Ace is the first to move, stretching his arms overhead and flexing his hands. “We should check it out.”

Nobody follows right away, not until Kellen shrugs and stands. “Might as well see how bad it is, right?”

I shift, pulling on the dry jacket I’d bundled beneath me, brushing sleep from my mind. The brightness outside feels cruel after the cave’s comforting dark, but the air is fresh and the storm has moved on. I look around. Aggie is awake, and gets to her feet, too. Tatiana is sleeping, curled on her side, and I wonder if she just doesn’t want to face it. Rachel watches us all from the back of the cave, her eyes swollen and raw, but for once she doesn’t talk.

Ace starts out, and I trail after him, the ground sloshing beneath me as we venture into the jungle. My muscles ache from bad sleep, but it feels good in a way. It’s proof I’m still here. The world outside the cave is a disaster. Near the beach, the sand is stripped of all but the biggest branches, driftwood jammed into the rocks. The trees along the ridge are bent but mostly holding. The banana grove is thrashed, papayas scattered across the ground, and splintered coconuts nest in the deep sand.

Ace makes a low whistle. “Well, the fruit trees are banged up, but they should come good and keep producing. We’ll pick up as much as we can.”

I stare up at the nearest palm. The tops are battered, but there are still green fronds, and dangling at the very top, a cluster of heavy coconuts. I almost laugh. Nature is so unbothered by us. “At least we aren’t starving yet,” I say.