Page 15
Chapter 15 of "Finest Kind of Fate" starts here: âWell, seems to me like the love of your life is back in town, so... Discover what happens next!
âWell, seems to me like the love of your life is back in town, so itâs time for the spare to go on his way. Right?â
âFuck.â The word comes out on an exhalation. As if what he said wasnât bad enough, the look on his face is so disinterested, one would think we were talking about the weather. It makes me want to shake him, see what other emotions I might be able to jar loose. âWhy would you say that?â
He smirks. âLoh, come on. Just because I wasnât born here doesnât mean I didnât do the onboarding once I arrived. I was barely here a day before someone whispered in my ear aboutShiloh Lepage and Ewan Fate. Donât act like you donât know what Iâm talking about.â
âWe areâwere friends, Roy. He has nothing to do with us.â
âYou knowââhe cuts across me, tone losing that playful edge and sharpening into something meanââthereâs a fine line between being clueless and being stupid.â
âWhat the hell is that supposed to mean?â
âIt means every single person in this town knows whatâs going on but you. It means I know about all those emails you send him. It means I knew I didnât have to try, that Iâd never match up to that manâs ghost, and there was never a possibility of you loving anyone else while he was around. Hell, even while he wasnât around, because when you do a thing, you do it right, donât you?â
The words are like a knife wrapped up in silkâa barb disguised as a compliment. The look on his face is so pitying, it makes me feel physically sick. This version of Roy is one I donât know, one Iâd suspected was living below the surface but hadnât had the chance to meet yet. I wish I wasnât meeting it now.
âLetâs go back to your place and talk,â I suggest, voice coming out strangled. I donât know how this evening got out of control so fast. The only thing I can think of to bring it back on track is to continue on with the plan weâd made earlier. What I donât want to do is continue making a public spectacle of myself.
âNo,â he replies succinctly, without so much as a pause. âI think weâve taken this as far as it was meant to go. Why settle for the placeholder when the real thing is right there?â
Heâs not yelling. In fact, his voice is eerily calm, almostflippant, like weâre two friends having a laugh. It somehow makes the words hurt worse, hearing them delivered in that careless tone. It makes it hard to pay attention to the meaning behind them as he fires them like bullets into my chest.
âStop it,â I tell him when he opens his mouth to continue. Iâm not yelling either, but my voice is hard in a way that even Iâm not used to. I donâtlikebeing this personâthe person who gets into public arguments and fights with others. I repeat, âStop it.â
He smirks at me, the expression cutting instead of its usual teasing. I donât know what to do with this version of Roy. Thereâs always been something sharp about him, but the barbed wire hadnât been stretched between us up until now. I can see it in his eyesâthe desire for me to rise to the occasion, yell at him, argue a little bit. Disturbingly, the worst part of this situation isnât even the fact that heâs breaking up with me; itâs that heâs doing it in public. Did it in front of Ewan, of all people. Right alongside the embarrassment and annoyance, though, is the relief. Relief that itâs over and I donât have to pretend anymore. Looking at his face in the dim light, lit by the artificial glow of the streetlamps, I wonder if maybe I wasnât the only one pretending.
âIâll see you on the water,â Roy says, turning away from me.
I donât call him back, feeling, more than anything, grateful that at least the shit show is over. Iâll talk to him tomorrow morning, before we go to haul. Privacy and the cool dawn air might help leveler heads prevail. Waiting until I see him disappear around the corner, I turn to walk to my own truck. My hands are slightly shaky, and my chest feels weird, like I suddenly have access to twenty percent more oxygen than I didbefore. Ihateshit like this.
My eyes immediately catch on Ewan when I turn around, standing under the awning in the shadows. Every single emotion Roy stirred up burns away, leaving only anger behind. Ewan looks timid and small there, standing by the entrance to the Temptress, expression sad and a little worried. He has no right. No fucking right.
âDo not,â I warn him, walking off down the street. Why the hell did I have to park so far away? I can feel Ewan behind me, every cell in my body attuned to him like I have echolocation for him and him alone. I clench my teeth, suddenly feeling incredibly exhausted. I wish heâd never come home. Whatever was between Roy and me had been fragile from the beginning, but that doesnât mean it doesnât hurt to see it shatter.
âShiloh,â he says quietly. I whirl around, startling him. He takes a step back.
âI never fucking held it against you that you left,â I tell him, anger and hurt turning the words into sandpaper on my tongue. âI didnât even mind that you never called. You always hated talking on the phone, and hell, I do, too. But you know what, Ewan? Iâm sick of making excuses for you, sick of keeping you one way in my head, only to find out that this is the person you really are. You could have sent a return emailonetime. Just once, even if it was to tell me you wanted to be left alone.â
Ewanâs throat bobs as he swallows, eyes shiny with what I suspect might be tears. He stands quietly, listening, looking for all the world like a man being sentenced to death. Usually, the sight of that hurt look on his face would shut me right up, but Icouldnât stem the flow of words even if I tried.
âI donât know why you came back. I really donât.â Shaking my head, I lift my arms in the air as though to encompass the empty street. âUnless youâre here to burn the bridges you left intact last time, I guess. Youâre off to a hell of a start.â
He chews on his lip, the shine gone from his eyes as he blinks it away. Thereâs a slight curl to his shoulders, his body deflating by degrees as I talk. Even as I go silent, he doesnât say anything in return. I suppose there isnât much left to say.
Turning around, I leave him on the sidewalk and stride the last handful of paces to my truck. As I leave, I glance up in the rearview, locking eyes with him as he stands unmoved, watching as Iâm the one who drives away.
Chapter Nine
EWAN
Eventually, I convince my feet to move. Instead of going back inside the bar, I cross the street and slip into the alley between shops. The moment Iâm in the dark, outside of the light provided by the streetlamps, my hands start shaking, and I break out into a sweat.
I hadnât expected any of that to happen when I approached them. Iâd wanted to say hi, and sure, I was jealous that Shiloh was out with someone else. I wanted to force him to look at me, talk to me. Iâd gone up to them with the express purpose of getting close enough to see the darker ring of blue around the outside of Shilohâs irises, to hear that rough voice and catch the smell of the sea on his hair.
I did not approach them intending to drop a bomb on their relationship. Hell, I didnât expect Shiloh to be in a relationshipat all.
âShit,â I mutter, voice wavering as though I wasnât as successful in fighting the tears back as I thought I was. I walk faster, wanting to get back to the cottage, and feeling like Iâm minutes away from a breakdown.
After my mom died, I felt like I lost control over my emotions. My hormones and feelings were already wild, being only eighteen, but her death snapped that thin string of control and left me stranded. Iâd be walking down the street or sitting and eating an ice cream, and all of a sudden, Iâd be crying. There were mornings when I couldnât get out of bed, couldnât bring myself to shower or eat or care about anything at all. Twice, I went up to the lighthouse, stood on the cliffs, and screamed until my throat burned.