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“Quite a bit, and yes I know it all. It’s my job, but I assure you it is confidential.” She looks at Carrie, who looks completely lost. “Nobody but myself and the heads of the label know everything Bright and it will stay that way. We have to be thorough and protect our investment.”

I don’t know what to say to them. I don’t think that I am the best fit, but I know how it feels to be worried sick and alone in recovery. They know him better than I do and honestly after seeing the care and concern they take with his every need I believe them if they think I have what it takes, the problem is that I don’t want the responsibility.

“Please just think on it? The tour starts next week. We don’t need an answer for a few days. If you do decide to do this I would like for you to meet one another before you are on a tour bus for three months.”

“Three months?” I ask and let's be honest these girls aren’t winning here. My life is in California, the Brew and apartment, my friends. All of my friends and the Sage, oh I would miss the Sage and reading on Open Mic nights. My life is here and a three month check out isn’t the responsible thing to do.

“Yes. It’s a national tour, could be international depending on the dates that are lined up. Cal and I have our family to think of as well as Carrie and Chad. Now with this deal for Noah, it’s too much to overwhelm everyone at once, so we are starting slow this tour.”

I meant to tell them no, I did. “I need to get my life situated. Oh shit, the Sage and the Brew…” I am rambling as they both sit antsy and excited listening.

“We are paying a substantial amount, and any help you need to at your apartment or with work we will cover, I will negotiate it in the contract. Whatever you need Bright.”

“I have one stipulation.” I say and this is a hard limit. I will walk if they don’t give me this.

“What's that?”

“If he isn’t comfortable with me, if he doesn’t feel like we can connect then I am let out of the contract no if’s and’s or but’s. His sobriety is the only factor I care about here and I will not endanger his sobriety over a corporation’s greed and unrealistic demands.”

“Absolutely.”

“Yes, of course.”

They both agree in unison.

“I also want to go on record that I think this is unfair that he was robbed of a sponsor he chose for reasons that comforted him. I am only doing this because I have my own atonement and I want to help.”

I gather my things and take the stack of paperwork as well as the contract with me as I leave. I am scheduled to meet TAT, more importantly Noah, tomorrow at Carries house. As for the Brew and the Sage I needed to beg Raleigh to cover any extra shifts knowing I was bailing out for three months. I wouldn’t be home until the day after tomorrow, but I knew I couldn’t put it off.

“Are you done saving the world one lost soul at a time?” Raleigh’s voice said from the other end of the line and I relaxed almost immediately into my connection with my best friend.

“Um, if I say no what will it do to our friendship?” I ask and I hear him scream like a school girl in front of Justin Bieber.

“I cannot believe you did it girl. Damn the luck. So tell me the truth how screwed up is this guy?” He knew who Thick as Thieves was… okay he was a crazy fan so knowing I would be with them had made him go tween girl on me.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Boo.” He sounded like a petulant child. “Can I meet them if they come through Cali?”

“You can’t ask me that I don’t even know if this dude will like me yet Ral.”

“Wait you didn’t meet him already?”

I went over the stipulations of the label and could feel his disgust as if it were my own. “Sounds intense Bright. You sure you want to take this on?”

Gone was the self-absorbed fan and in his place was my rock solid bestie. “I think so. They think that my addiction will benefit in keeping him from sticky spots.” I chose my words carefully because I wanted to respect Noah’s anonymity. Besides his business was his, not Raleigh’s, even if Ral begged.

“Listen Ral. I come home Thursday night, but this tour, if he wants me to be his sponsor I am gonna be gone for a while…” I bite my lips and squeeze my eyes shut tight fearing his response.

“What’s a while Bright?”

I tell him and immediately pull the phone from my ear as he flips out in epic childish fashion. I mean complete meltdown. I wait the whole five minutes for him to come down from full blown meltdown. “You done?” I ask and fear another tantrum.

“Three months Bright? Seriously? Tell me why you feel the need to do this and leave out the word atonement.”

“Atonement is it Ral. I need to feel like I gave back. After everything I have done and the people I hurt. This is my way of making things right.”

“Honey, you give free food more often than you sell it. The Brew is a soup kitchen if we base it off the homeless men and women you feed. You handle more charities and donate time and money to this community, to thegaycommunity. You do more good deeds baby than any one person I know.”