Chapter 269 - Itchy Lungs

Chapter 269: Chapter 247 Itchy LungsLi Cheng pushed open the door and, in the hallway, stood Han Letian, Mu Yulu, and Shao Wangshu, each holding a bag of hot pot ingredients.

"Give me a hand,"

Han Letian handed the plastic bag to Li Cheng and glanced inside the house, "Your place is pretty clean. Neat and no odd smells, either you’re a sissy or gay."

Li Cheng ushered the three into the house and retorted, "You think I’m like you? Keeping milk, cockroaches, energy jelly sticks, spicy strips, sour plums, Florida water, and raw pork all bottled up in plastic to brew some stink juice."

"That was from back in elementary school, okay? And you did the same."

Han Letian rolled his eyes, making himself at home by turning on the air conditioner and the TV.

"Childish." Mu Yulu pursed her lips dismissively and sat down on the sofa with Shao Wangshu, who looked around curiously.

This room was indeed quite clean and tidy; not a speck of dust could be found in the kitchen or living room, even in hidden spots like underneath the coffee table or corners of the sofa.

It wasn’t that Li Cheng had a cleanliness fetish, but rather it was due to principles of secrecy and security.

Technologies mastered by forces like Prometheus, the Evil Science Alliance, and GS Biotech were too advanced, able to extract genes and clone from just a strand of hair, a flake of skin, or a dried blood spot.

Not to mention the oddly unpredictable evil magic.

Carelessly losing a hair could indeed lead to someone picking it up and remotely cursing you with the Nail-Head Seven Arrows Book or some other Witchcraft Curse Technique.

With these concerns in mind, Li Cheng designed multiple safeguards when renovating his home.

He installed a new drainage system; the house’s central air conditioning was paired with a fresh air system, which included multiple filter screens in the exhaust duct; robotic vacuum cleaners cleaned the house twice a day; he stuck to buying and cooking his groceries to avoid DNA-contaminated takeaway containers being recycled.

In terms of being cautious, he could rank in the top 1% among all players.

Those even more cautious than him were apocalyptic believers, certain that the end of the world was nigh and choosing to live in underground shelters that could withstand a nuclear blast, subsisting on canned food and bottled water.

As the host, Li Cheng was in the study washing and prepping the hot pot ingredients while casually chatting with friends, enjoying the rare leisure time.

Until...

"May I use the restroom?" Shao Wangshu politely asked.

"Of course." Li Cheng nonchalantly pointed towards it, but as he turned around, his expression suddenly changed.

Oops, the toilet seat cover!

As the Liquid Metal Robot Gray Rain, her physiological makeup was quite... extraordinary; touching an electric switch could restore her energy, and she didn’t need to eat or drink.

But she wouldn’t give up the joy of eating and drinking.

Since her taste system worked fine, she constructed a full metal digestive system for herself and daily feasted on calorie bombs like burgers, colas, fried chicken, cheese pizzas, bread, and high-fat, high-salt dishes.

She would mash all the food into a paste in her metal stomach and intestines, then excrete it out.

In her own words, "While sitting on the toilet for those ten minutes or so, I can play with my phone while pondering about life, the universe, and philosophical questions like where I came from and where I’m headed; it’s truly beneficial for the mind and body."

What could Li Cheng do but reinforce his toilet at home with supertough high-strength ceramic, so it could withstand more than eight hundred kilograms of Gray Rain’s petite body weight?

Plus, he put on a pink toilet seat cover.

Normally, a bachelor’s home wouldn’t have such a thing...

"Wait!"

Li Cheng took quick steps, blocking Shao Wangshu who was about to enter the bathroom, and said with a tense expression, "This bathroom can’t be used."

"Huh?" Shao Wangshu didn’t understand, "Why?"

Haha, I just took a big dump.

This excuse flashed through Li Cheng’s mind and was quickly discarded.

Why wouldn’t you flush after taking a big dump? And if it didn’t flush, why not get it fixed?

Li Cheng’s mouth twitched slightly as he quickly thought on his feet and came up with another excuse, "The bathroom is still being renovated."

"Huh?" Mu Yulu, who was preparing the hotpot base soup, asked with vacant eyes, "How can a bathroom be renovated?"

Li Cheng, without changing his expression, said, "In my life, I hate it most when people shit over my head, so I’m considering changing the position of the toilet."

"Because the layout of every apartment on each floor is the same, so unless you’re on the top floor, it’s like having someone shitting above you, right?"

Mu Yulu sighed and complained, "What a ’Proud Arrogant Dragon’."

"Young man’s spirit fierce as a wolf, heart full of passion beats against his chest, classic quotes carried on shoulders, don’t be wild in front of me. Proud—What can you do to me."

Li Cheng casually brushed it off, managing to bluff his way through this section. While Shao Wangshu went to use the bathroom next to the study, he quietly locked the bedroom door.

Gray Rain was just a small girl weighing over 800kg. The bed she slept on and the chair she sat on were all reinforced with alloys to prevent them from collapsing.

Gulp Gulp.

Steam started rising from the hotpot, and Han Letian, holding a bowl, asked, "Cheng, where do you keep the sesame oil? I need to make some dipping sauce."

"In the cabinet under the microwave, take a look."

Just as Li Cheng finished speaking, Han Letian opened the cabinet and with a pop, an electronic cigarette fell out, spinning in his bowl.

"Uh..."

Han Letian pondered for a moment, "Lao Cheng, I remember the law states that minors are not allowed to buy electronic cigarettes, right?"

Li Cheng feigned calmness: "This isn’t for smoking; it’s a tool I use for practising pen spinning."

Pa-la pa-la!

More electronic cigarettes tumbled out of the cabinet, various models and different flavors.

Matching Colors and Clouds—Gentle cucumber flavor

Rolling Good Fortune—Jujube flavor

Lush Greenery—Mung bean flavor

Cane Over Horse—Herbal aged fragrance...

Without a doubt, these were all little snacks that Gray Rain had secretly stashed away.

Seeing this, Li Cheng’s expression remained unchanged as he coolly explained, "I don’t smoke e-cigarettes, I just love pen spinning."

"I only stuff the big smokers’ pipe in my mouth, the fifth generation I embrace~ Smoke all I want without harm, and don’t need a lighter; it’s truly delightful~ beyond, take a quick bite, now my lungs are itching~"

An abstract ringtone started sounding from underneath the coffee table, clearly, Gray Rain hadn’t taken her phone with her when she got into the Electronic Pet Egg.

Han Letian: (ﾟ∀.)

Mu Yulu: (・_ゝ・)

Shao Wangshu: (|||ﾟДﾟ)

Li Cheng silently took the electronic cigarette from Han Letian’s bowl, walked towards the coffee table, picked up Gray Rain’s phone, which showed an incoming call from an insurance company as a telemarketing call, "Hello, thank you, but I don’t need insurance."

The call ended, and the belief that if I wasn’t embarrassed, it meant others were,

Seeing Li Cheng looking so normal, Han Letian and the others didn’t dare say or ask much. It wasn’t until after they finished the hotpot and the movie and were saying goodbye that they reminded Li Cheng to take care of his health and smoke less.

Shao Wangshu even handed over a name card for a psychological therapy institution, subtly suggesting that if Li Cheng felt under pressure from his studies, he might want to consult a doctor.

Click.

The door closed, and Li Cheng silently took out the Electronic Pet Egg and pressed the button.

Gray Rain jumped out from the void, said in a carefree tone, "Finally out. What did you all eat? Cheng, you owe me big time..."

Her voice grew fainter as from the corner of her eye, Gray Rain noticed the electronic cigarettes neatly packed in a box on the living room table, and slapped her forehead saying, "Almost forgot, I haven’t done my homework today. Hey, look at this homework, it’s really something."