Page 58
Chapter 58 of "Serial Bangers!" opens showing suspense: My chest aches, and itās not a feeling Iām accustomed to. I donāt like seeing... Continue the adventure!
My chest aches, and itās not a feeling Iām accustomed to. I donāt like seeing her like this. I donāt like knowing sheās in pain, whether itās physical or emotional. None of it sits well with me.
I hesitate for a moment, unsure how to broach this with her.
Kiara is unpredictable. I can read her body like a map, every want it could possibly crave, perfectly outlined just for me. But when it comes to what she feels, Iāve never been more in the dark.
The surface stuff is easy. When her brows pull tight, a little line appears between them, and I know Iām about to get my ass handed to me. Sheāll say,Fuck, I hate youno less than three times.
I know the cadence of her anger.
I know the weight of her body when she launches herself at me in fury.
I know exactly how far sheāll push before that rage shifts into nothing but pure desire.
But thatās where my certainty ends.
I can tell when sheās happy. I can spot sadness before it fully settles in her eyes. Those are simple tells. Theyāre predictable, and the parts of her that make her human, just like everybody else in this world.
Itās the deeper things that bring me pause. The silent tears. The brokenness. The moments when something raw and unguarded flickers in those beautiful green eyes, then vanishes before I even get a chance to figure it out.
It makes me feel as though Iām not good enough, not smart enough. Because how could I be this accomplished in my career, how can I thrive through such vigorous training and learn to read people in their most feared moments, yet I canāt even begin to understand whatās inside her soul?
When it comes to Kiara St. James, Iām fucking useless.
Iām a man who can read a room in seconds. A man who can anticipate a trigger pull before a finger even tightens. And Iām reduced to nothing by one womanās silent tears.
When it comes to what she truly feels, wants, or needs, Iām drifting blind through a blackened universe, chasing a light I canāt possibly begin to reach, terrified of what Iāll find if I ever do.
Is she becoming my world? Yes. But do I deserve her? Am I what she truly needs? Am I enough to keep her satisfiedānot just her body but her mind and soul? I have no fucking idea.
Kiara is the strongest woman I have ever met. Her skills and training are lethal. She can pull off the impossible, only to shrug it off and come home to annihilate a cheese pizza like nobodyās business. But when it comes to dealing with what she feels inside, I fear she has no idea, just like me. Iām emotionally stunted, incapable of figuring out basic human feelings, simply because Iāve spent my life so deprived of them. Iāve dedicated every moment to learning my craft and not forming attachments. Iāve only ever allowed for sexual relationships, and once the deed was done, they were on their way, just like any other contract.
All of this is new to me, and Iād be lying if I said it wasnāt scary as hell. What happens if I slip up? What happens to her if she allows herself to truly feel something here, then I get myself killed? What happens tomeif she doesnāt make it home from a job? What happens when she tears my soul right out of my chest and decides it doesnātmatter? How the fuck would I ever recover?
All I know is that Kiara is lying in that bed next to me, tears silently rolling down her cheeks, and while I might not understand them, I canāt just watch and do nothing.
Throwing my blanket back, I murmur through the quiet hospital room, trying to keep my voice low to not disturb the other patients sleeping around us. āCome here, Firecracker.ā
Her head whips toward me, a soft gasp on her lips. āI thought you were sleeping.ā
I shake my head, a small smile on my lips. āNo, you didnāt,ā I say, watching her discreetly wiping away her tears. āCome here.ā
She shakes her head. āKatieāā
āDonāt bullshit me, Kiara,ā I say as everything inside me screams to go to her, to climb straight into her bed and pull her into my arms until the tears run their course, but I donāt want to take her choice away. It needs to be hers and hers alone. She needs to decide if she wants this, whether sheās going to lean on me or tell me to fuck off and mind my business. āYouāre killing me over there.ā
She glances my way, and when those glossy green eyes come to mine, I see the longing, but her body hesitates. For a moment, I fear sheās going to pull away, that sheās going to slam down some invisible wall between us, and this is all going to be over before it even has a chance to truly begin.
But then she nods and pushes her blankets back.
My heart races as she clambers out of bed, her legsnot so shaky anymore as she grabs her IV pole and rolls it across the linoleum until itās settled right there next to mine.
I open my arms, and without a single sneer, threat, or insult, Kiara slips beneath the blankets, settling in beside me. She presses close as I wrap her up, her body fitting against mine like it was built to.
She buries her face against my bare chest, her wet cheeks dragging across my skin as she nuzzles in. And when she places her hand over my heart, I know she has to feel how fast itās pounding, how it betrays me, but I donāt try to hide it.
Iām fucking home.
The chaos disappears. The games, the rivalry, the constant edge we live on. All of it fades beneath the simple weight of her in my arms. For the first time since the explosionāsince the fear I felt while we were soaring toward the pavement, and I thought I would lose herāeverything inside me goes still.