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A rush of dizziness made my head spin. I tightened my grip on my arms, locking them over my stomach. It took seconds to run a quick mental assessment of myself. I wore a loose flannel over a tank top. Even if the tank fit tight, no one could tell a damned thing. “This is insane. What I do is no one’s business.”

“No honey. Everything you do is the club’s business. That’s how it works once you’ve been in bed with one of them. You’re not your own person anymore. You belong to them.” Her head tipped again toward Hawk and Diesel. “And now the others know they have an opening. Word’s out you’ve been with more than one of them. They won’t let that rest, and they won’t stop until they drive a wedge in deep enough to fracture the club and get Hawk out.”

Men and their stupid power plays. I was sick to death of this nonsense. And my child would not be anyone’s pawn. My teeth ground together so hard my jaw ached. I kept my arms folded over my stomach. No one knew I’d taken a pregnancy test last night. There were no changes in my body for anyone to notice. Not yet. I might be dizzy as a drunk bat and running numbers to figure out my due date, but no one knew that.

But they’d figure it out if I stayed.

If I stayed, I’d become marked. I would never be safe. My child would never be safe.

Fuck that shit.

I’d spent my entire life terrified for myself and my mom. I would not put a kid through that. Men like Wade would not get within a mile of my baby. I pushed off from the wall. “Thanks, Rita. I have work to do.”

“You’re not going to stay and listen?” Her bleached eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

I gave her a look and snorted. “Why? They won’t listen to anything I have to say. I’ve tried that already.” I shouldn’t say anything, especially to someone who loved gossip, but to hell with it. Why did they deserve my loyalty when I didn’t havetheirs? I turned on my heel and walked out, looping around behind the house and entering the garage. It took all of ten minutes to pack up my tools, grab my extra jacket from the hook, and speed across the lot to my bike. I didn’t let myself look at the bike I’d spent three days on that sat in the corner. It just needed a fresh coat of polish and it would be ready for Dylan. I swallowed down the regret, tightened my grip on the bag, and kept my eyes forward.

An hour later, I’d packed everything I owned into a single duffel that I strapped onto the back of the bike alongside my tool bag. My ribs ached when I put the bike in gear, and I palmed the swallow tattoo I’d had inked a week ago. It was supposed to be a symbol of the new life I’d found here. Now it was the sign of my flight away from the Vultures and into a life where my body belonged to me and no one else. That was why I couldn’t stay. Why I couldn’t tell them.

If I stayed, the ugly attention already circling me would tighten until it strangled me. My baby would be at risk. If I told Hawk, he’d lock me down and I’d face the same end result.

If I told Colt, he’d blow up, then he’d tell Hawk.

If I told Diesel, he’d go even more silent and dangerous. And then he’d tell Hawk.

There was no scenario where me and my baby were a priority unless I made it my own.

I eyed the little apartment, then ran back inside to make sure I had thrown out the pregnancy test and anything else that mattered. Then, I wrote them a note. Nothing much and more than they deserved.

None of this was ever real.

I left the torn sheet of paper tucked beneath an empty bowl. If anyone cared to come looking, they’d find it. If they didn’t…well, then it was as I suspected and they didn’t care at all. I checked my pocket to make sure the bit of cash I’d saved hadn’t fallen out, zipped the pocket, and drove away. My stomach knotted, and my throat went dry as I approached the county line. No one chased me. I hadn’t expected them to, but the loneliness that had been pushed aside roared in.

Tears tracked down my cheeks against my will. I couldn’t risk moving my hand off the handlebars as I zipped around curves, leaning into each one and riding the adrenaline as wind tore over my body and streamed through my hair.

My phone lit up on the stand between the handlebars. I hit the county line and kept going. As soon as I reached a straight stretch of road, I turned the phone off and never looked back.

13

COLT

SEVEN YEARS AGO…

If I had to deal with one more smartass Hellhound, I might end up in jail. The only thing that had saved me so far was the promise of seeing Callie when I made it back. I kept trying to figure out how to talk to her again, how to spend time with her, but every time I saw her, I remembered I’d never be good enough to keep her.

Better for us both if I kept my distance but damn if I didn’t want to spend every day with her.

My phone rang as I walked out of the bar brushing dust from my jacket and stretching out the cramped feeling where I’d held my fist too tight for too long.

“Yeah.” I answered Hawk’s call while walking toward my bike, my stomach already coiling in preparation for my next assignment.

Hawk never beat around the bush when he had something for me to do, so the pause put me off my game.

I sat on my bike and tucked the phone between my cheek and shoulder, taking my time scanning the parking lot. Bikes on either side kept me from turning like I normally would. I’d have to drive closer to the bar before I could loop around unless I wanted to ding someone’s baby. Honestly might be worth the fight.

“Colt.” Hawk paused again.

“Fuck.” I closed my eyes for a heartbeat before snapping them open. I couldn’t risk being caught unprepared. “What now?”