Chapter 33.4

Amara’s breath was heavy, and she was finding it difficult to focus on walking. She wasn’t completely out of strength, but what little of it she had left was being used to hold back her demonic libido. Her legs were shaking, and her thoughts were entirely focused on the soft hand wrapped around her waist. She heard Vee say something, but she had to shake her head before turning to face her friend.

“What?” Amara asked, her breathing heavy.

“So much for you not having the strength to walk, right?” Vee said again, her lightness of tone indicating this was an attempt at joviality.

“Oh, um, yeah,” Amara said flatly.

“At least we were able to talk with them!” Vee said. “I’m sorry the connection wasn’t strong enough for you to… y’know, but it sounds like Tessa might have everything online by tomorrow.”

“That would be nice, wouldn’t it?” Amara’s legs buckled, and Vee pivoted to catch her. They were now facing each other, both of Vee’s hands on Amara’s waist, the touch driving her mad. She was leaning against Vee, her head against her shoulder, and her senses were immediately consumed by Vee’s scent.

“Hey, c’mon, it’s not much further. You can do this!” Vee said, lifting Amara to her feet again.

“Shut up!” Amara hissed, forcing herself to stand up again. She pulled away from Vee, then immediately saw a look of shock on her friend’s face. “No, Vee, not you, I’m just… I can’t…”

Vee paused briefly before speaking up, her words soft and cautious. “Is there someone talking to you?”

“Just my own intrusive thoughts. Come on, like you said, we’re almost home.” Amara repositioned herself on Vee’s shoulder again, then the girls took off towards the apartment again.

Each step was agony. Even when she found the strength to stop focusing on Vee’s soft skin, she would grow distracted by her legs as they rubbed together. She could smell her own arousal, feel the heat pouring off her sex, and she desperately hoped Vee’s senses weren’t as sensitive as hers.

“Is it like Halloween?” Vee asked quietly.

“What do you mean?”

“When we fought at the party, it almost seemed like you were a different person. It happened during the ritual, too, though not to the same degree. You were… I don’t know how to phrase it.”

“Feral? A monster? A demon?” Amara said, hoping it sounded like a joke. Based on Vee’s reaction, she didn’t think her intention landed.

“I mean, I guess? I don’t know how this works, and I’m scared of rattling off baseless Church doctrine rather than actually listening to you.”

“No, feral feels like a fucking decent word for what I’m feeling right now. I’m shocked I can still talk, honestly.” Amara took a deep breath, and when she released it, her entire body shook. “I know I’ve said this before, but I don’t know what’s happening to me. Sometimes I jokingly think of myself as two people: Demon Amara and Human Amara. When Human Amara grows weak, or scared, or can’t get the job done, Demon Amara has to come out to fix things. Sometimes it’s bad, like our fight on Halloween. Honestly, there are large sections of that fight that I don’t remember, periods where I blacked out and was just a slave to my instincts.”

“Has Demon Amara come out since then? I assume the night of the ritual, but anything else?”

“Terrorizing Derek. Drowning him in his nightmares, invading his place at night and forcing him to question his grip on reality. Confronting Luxnor, holding my bladed tail to his throat and threatening him with eternal damnation.” Amara paused, memories of her past actions nearly overwhelming her. “She’s terrible, Vee. She’s arrogant, angry, convinced that everyone else is beneath her. She’s this overwhelming instinct that I can never quite fight off, but worst of all, she’s me. I wanted to do those things, I enjoyed punishing those people. I reveled in the attention I got the night of the ritual; it felt amazing to treat those assholes like they were defenseless prey to feed to my desires.”

They were close to Vee’s apartment, with only one last street to cross at this point. “You’re more than your heritage, Amara. You can’t discount everything you are just because of where you come from.”

“I don’t know where this ends, Vee! I don’t know what I’m supposed to end up being, but I can already feel how much I’ve changed. At what point is Human Amara gone completely? I mean, fuck, we finally started fixing things, and here I am telling you all about how good it feels to treat humans like they’re beneath me. Why should you trust me? What if I hurt you again?”

As the front door to Vee’s apartment opened, Amara worried she wouldn’t make it to the bedroom. She desperately hoped that their pocket of reality would lessen the effects of her hunger, and did her best to continue putting one foot in front of the other.

“I trust you because I see how hard this is for you. We’re not defined by how we act when we’re desperate, and it’s not your fault you keep getting pushed into corners.” The girls finally collapsed in Vee’s bedroom, and Amara crawled up against a wall as Vee continued talking. “I didn’t give you a choice, Amara. If you hadn’t fought back, I would have sent you to Hell! When you’re not fighting to survive, you’re a kind person, Amara. You’re a loving, nurturing friend who desperately tries to protect everyone around her.”

Vee sat down in front of Amara, who was panting from the exertion of walking across campus. Amara leaned her head against the wall, then looked over at Vee and forced a smile. “Yeah, well, I think you’re too nice for your own good. I have no idea what I did to deserve a friend like you.”

“Oh, that’s easy. You just spent weeks begging for forgiveness and doing everything in your power to apologize. I hate to say it, but I think it worked. You’re stuck with me now, Hellspawn.”

Amara couldn’t help but laugh at Vee’s comment. As tense as their situation was, their conversation somehow felt incredibly natural. She suddenly remembered her choice of words, and couldn’t help but fixate on how easy it had felt to call Vee her friend. “Can I say that? Can I call us friends?”

With a soft smile, Vee reached over and placed a hand on Amara’s arm. “Absolutely. You know more about me than anyone in the entire world, Amara. More than my parents, more than the Church, maybe even more than my Patron.”

“Well, as your friend, I feel I should warn you that touching me is a really bad idea right now. I’m so horny I’d fuck a reaper.”

It was Vee’s turn to laugh, and the sweet sound of her voice was everything Amara needed to forget her earlier breakdown. All she needed to do now was survive one more night of chastity, then hopefully Tessa’s portal would give her a chance to finally find some relief.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, alright?” Vee said, pulling her hand back. “We should be heading home tomorrow, and then you’ll have all the time in the world to get your strength back. You think you’ve got one more night in you?”

Amara nodded. “I think so. Though, we should make sure there’s a sheet between us if you still want to share a bed. Regardless of what you think, I still don’t trust myself right now.”

“Not a problem. I’ll get under the sheet, and you can sleep on top. I know things are a little tense right now, but I won’t lie, your warmth feels incredible. I swear I slept better last night than I have in months. If you charged people to cuddle up with you at night you’d make millions.”

As Vee crawled into bed, Amara was unable to stop her eyes from lingering on the angel’s curves. While not as curvy as Amara, Vee had a fantastic figure. Her body was tight and toned, and her muscles were far more defined than Amara’s. While she wasn’t built like a weightlifter, she might easily be mistaken for a professional athlete. Her current pajamas, while not as skimpy as Amara’s, certainly weren’t helping Amara’s problem.

With a quick flinch, Amara shook her horrible thoughts loose and made her way to Vee’s bed. It was going to be a long night.