Page 42
Chapter 42 of "The Deal" begins unfolding events: âItâs beautiful,â I said truthfully. âMostly Iâve only had time to see it from the... Continue reading!
âItâs beautiful,â I said truthfully. âMostly Iâve only had time to see it from the window of a taxi, but there are pretty old churches everywhere. I saw shop windows full of hand embroidered tablecloths and doilies, and this gorgeous cut crystal they make here in every color of the rainbow.â
âHowâs the food?â she asked.
âWe just got here, so I havenât had a chance to find out yet,â I said, purposely leaving out the part about my epic hangover that was still lingering. âBut I read about these rolled up meringue pastries filled with oranges that Iâm dying to try. I know this city is going to be really special.â
âBetter than Vienna?â
I could hear the genuine eagerness in her voice. My fatherâs work hadnât taken him out of the country often, and for all of Michelleâs homegrown southern roots, I knew she had an adventurous spirit and longed to see the world.
âVienna was magic,â I sighed. âWe went to the Opera House. It was like a palace. The singers had amazing voices. Every single person in the audience was enthralled. It was wonderful.â
It was nice that I didnât have to lie about that. I held on to that memory, holding it up as an example of how things could be. Of how I wanted them to be.
âLucky, lucky girl. How isâŚeverything else?â Michelle asked, the real question obvious.
I was silent, struggling for the right words.
âTori?â she prompted. âYou still there? Everything okay?â
âOf course!â I lied cheerfully. âItâs justâŚall the running around. You know how it is. Itâs just been exhausting. In fact, I should probably go take a nap.â
She let out a slow breath, and then said, âTori, Iâve known you since you were two years old. You put on a hell of a happy face, but I can tell when somethingâs bothering you. Spill it.â
I paused, not sure how to explain that I still hadnât consummated my marriage. I trusted her, but the last thing I wanted was detailed advice about how to seduce my husband, especially since I knew exactly who sheâd used all her tips and tricks on. The mental images of her and my father were the absolute last thing Iâd need while trying to lure Stefan into bed.
But the truth was, I did need help. And I didnât have anyone else to turn to.
âStefanâs not interested in sex,â I blurted out. âI mean, he is. Definitely. But not with me.â
This time the long pause came from her.
âTell me what happened,â she finally said, spacing out her words carefully.
I took a deep breath, humiliated but desperate for advice. âI dressed up for him in the lingerie, just like you said, and I was ready and everything.â I was babbling, the words like a breaking dam. âNot just on our wedding night in Chicago, but again in Vienna too. But he was dead asleep by the time I came to bed the first night and I donât think he even noticed the second time. Heâs been totally ignoring me. He says heâs âworking.â Heâsalwaysworking.â
âOh, honey. Youâve seen what itâs like at home with your father and me.â
âYeah, butâŚI thought it would be different with us,â I admitted. âAt least at first. Weâre newlyweds.â I could barely keep the hurt out of my voice on the last sentence.
I hated this. I hated feeling like a little kid in my own marriage. Hated feeling like I didnât have any control over what was happening.
âYou knew what this was going to be,â Michelle reminded me. âStefan is like your fatherâhis work is always going to come first. You understand how it goes. And you need to respect that.â
âI do,â I argued, absently tugging the ends of my hair with frustration. âAnd Iâm not trying to keep him from his workâŚâ
âYouâre not?â Michelle asked, her voice gentle.
I thought for a moment. âIâm not trying to.â
âI believe you,â Michelleâs voice held no judgment. âBut even if youâre not intentionally distracting him, youâre not helping either. Thatâs our job. Weâre supposed to make our husbandsâ lives easier.â
I knew she was right. I had done a variation of that for my father my entire life, always putting his needs first. Somehow, I had thought it would be different with Stefan. That he would want me to be more than just a warm smile and attentive ear at the end of the day. I thought weâd have something we could share.
âYou need to rethink the way you approach him,â Michelle said. âThe way you communicate. You canât be one more thing he has to deal withâone more thing that requires his work and attention. You have to give him what he needs, when he needs it.â
âHow do I even know what that is?â I asked, feeling frustrated. âHe wonât tell me.â
âHe shouldnât have to,â Michelle reprimanded me. âYou need to take the initiative in your relationship. Figure out exactly what he needs, and be the person who gives it to him.â