Chapter 41.3

When Amara woke, she didn’t feel particularly rested; it had been a turbulent night, despite how quickly she’d fallen asleep. She tried to take comfort in the fact that she’d gotten any sleep at all. As she pulled on a change of clothes, she was acutely aware of how quiet the apartment was. Had her mother left?

More memories continued jumping in and out of focus. She brushed her teeth quickly, even splashing water on her face to try and wake herself up long enough to get some coffee. By the time she stumbled into the living room, she found her mother sitting at the breakfast bar.

“Mornin’, Mom. How was your night? Not too boring, I hope?” Once she finished speaking, she buried her head in her mother’s shoulder and sighed.

“Good morning, love. I’m more than used to passing time, and a single night is hardly any wait at all. Though, I would be lying to say I had nothing on my mind. I couldn’t help but notice all the damage you’ve caused in here.”

“Yeah, well, growing pains are a bitch. I didn’t know how to shapeshift for a while, and my wings kept scratching everything up. I’ve gotten better at controlling my fire, but I’m still relatively insensitive to heat. Sometimes I forget what temperatures things burn at, or that I’ve left a hand on fire or something.”

“How are you feeling now? Can I help at all?” Evelyn asked.

“Honestly… I was kinda hoping you’d make breakfast. Like you used to.”

“You… eat?” Evelyn cocked her head.

Amara groaned. “Let me guess, demons don’t eat unless it’s for show?”

Evelyn nodded. “I’ll tell you what, love. I’ll make us some food, and while I do, can I ask some questions about you? What your abilities are, stuff like that?”

“That sounds good,” Amara said, pulling out a stool with her tail and falling into it.

As her mother started rummaging through the kitchen, one of the first things she found was a beat-up old frying pan. One that had obviously been bent out of shape in the recent past. “Well, this is unusual. This was new when I bought it for you.”

“Oh, right.” Amara blushed. “I was talking with Nick about my growing strength one day, and decided to test it out. Needless to say, I didn’t do a great job pushing it back into shape.”

“I guess that’s as good a place to start as any. How strong are you?”

“I have no idea, truthfully. Nick once suggested we go to the gym and run experiments, but it never ended up happening. I can easily overpower humans, and I made quite a mess of things when I was fighting all those possessed cultists. There were also those purgatory monsters, the ones we called reapers, but I have no idea how strong they objectively were. Still, I killed two with my bare hands, it was pretty sick.”

“I never would have taken you as a fighter. You were always pretty calm when you were younger.” Evelyn laughed, the sound music to Amara’s ears. As she continued talking, she began putting together ingredients for omelets. “What about fire? You said you’ve got control over it?”

“Yup!” Amara held up a hand, then focused and lit it on fire. “My fire is always tinged purple, and I can get pretty creative with it. I use it for cooking all the time, mostly as a way to practice with it, but I’ve also been getting more creative with it in fights. Recently I’ve started condensing it and creating small explosions; they help me move around faster, hit harder, all that good stuff.”

“That’s so clever! Oh, look at you!” Evelyn’s tail snaked closer, gently stroking Amara’s cheek as she spoke. “What about flight?”

“Well, about that… I kinda can’t right now. Like, physically I can, but every time I’ve tried, I flash back to my fight with Vee.” Amara buried her chin in her arms as she finished. “Some demon I am, right? Unable to fly because ‘Oh, woe is me! I hurt someone!’ Ugh.”

“You cut that out, young lady. I didn’t raise you to be okay with hurting your friends. I’d rather you lose your flight than your sense of decency.”

“Yes Mom,” Amara said quietly.

“Now, speaking of your friends, have they been acting any differently? I specifically mean Nick and Tessa, the ones you’ve been sleeping with.”

“Um, no, not really. I’ve been feeding on Nick for months, and nothing seems to have changed. Is that weird too?”

Evelyn sighed, a look of concern on her face. “Incredibly. It’s incredibly rare for a human to survive that much feeding, and even when it happens, they’re twisted into shadows of their former self. Succubi consume souls, which aren’t exactly a renewable resource. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled Nick is alive and well, but it doesn’t make sense.”

“At least it’s a good surprise this time. That’s a welcome change of pace,” Amara said.

“What about shapeshifting?”

Amara nodded.

“Lust sense?”

Another nod. “Is that what it’s called? I’ve been calling it horny radar.”

Evelyn laughed again. “I mean, there aren’t any official names. It’s not like Hell has a wiki. Well, not an official one. But yes, demons tend to be tied to one of the seven sins, and succubi get lust. Other demons sense anger, envy, all the classics. What about dreamwalking?”

“A couple times with some trust fund idiot, but it was kinda on accident. I’m not sure how I got there, and I haven’t tried since.”

“And how’s your illusion game?” Evelyn asked.

Amara cocked her head. “My what?”

“Illusions? Can you not make any?”

“I… I’ve never tried. I guess I never thought that would be in my wheelhouse.”

“Didn’t you say that Tessa walked you through the basics of magic? Illusions draw their power from the Dreamscape, and succubi inherently have mastery over dreams. Ergo, we can create illusions. I use them for almost everything! Heck, the only clothes I’ve ever bought were for show; I needed you to think I was a normal mom, so I filled my closet with old, thrifted outfits.”

To prove her point, Evelyn’s eyes flashed and her clothing immediately shifted to a new outfit. She had previously been wearing relatively standard clothes—relaxed blue jeans and a thick sweater—but in front of Amara’s eyes the fabric warped into a sleek glittery dress, then a tuxedo, then back to her original outfit. Each outfit seemed perfectly tailored to her mother’s figure and, stranger still, her tail seemed to pass effortlessly through whatever fabric she created.

“Whoa! Mom, that’s so cool!” Amara jumped to her feet. “I wanna try! How do you do it?”

Evelyn rubbed her chin as she thought. “Hm. It's second nature, really. I think of what I want, then I have it. No different than my shapeshifting, really.”

“Okay, just like shapeshifting, I can do this.” Amara braced herself, then reached for her inner fire. Its familiar warmth cascaded through her, and she tried to think of something to make. “Shoot, I'm drawing a blank. What should I make?”

“Start with something small. How about a scarf?” Evelyn suggested.

Amara nodded, then tried to visualize what she wanted. To make things easier, she pictured one of her own scarves. Though she hadn’t needed them in months, they still sat neatly folded in her closet. Her favorite was a wide scarf made of thin, soft cashmere. Large, differently colored squares covered it, all different types of beige and white, which made it the perfect complement to a bunch of different outfits.

With her connection to her fire secured, she tried to summon a scarf into existence. It wouldn’t be hot, it wasn’t fire, and she instead envisioned the feel of the fabric draping across her hands.

Nothing appeared at first. She huffed in frustration, then closed her eyes and kept trying. She focused on her inner fire, even conjuring a small flame to remind herself what manifesting magic felt like. After extinguishing the flame, she tried to repeat the sensation, and that’s when she felt something. A tingle ran through her body, causing her to shiver, and the sensation forced her to close her hands. As her fingers squeezed tight, she found they were now wrapped around a soft length of fabric.

She opened her eyes and saw an exact duplicate of her own scarf draped between her hands.

“Look at it! It’s just like the real thing!” With a squeal of excitement, Amara wrapped the scarf around her neck, amazed at how lifelike it was. She giggled as she spun around, then looked back up at her mother. “What are the limitations of these things? I saw that your tail seemed to pass through your clothes like they weren’t even there, how’d you do that?”

Amara’s energy seemed to be infectious, and she caught her mother giggling as well. “Alright, one step at a time, Amara. Illusions are just as solid as the real thing, but you always have to remember that they’re fake. If they’re subjected to too much stress, the entire thing will vanish, no matter what it looks like. Additionally, since they’re bound to you, and not to any runes, they’ll vanish if you move too far away from them. As for my tail, that’s a little trickier. You have to internalize that these illusions are a part of you and consciously warp them to shift around your tail.”

Listening intently, Amara decided to keep testing this new ability of hers. First, she grabbed opposing ends of her scarf and tried to rip it in half. Just like her mother had said, instead of ripping, the entire scarf vanished without a trace.

Too excited to stop, she excused herself from the kitchen and ran to her bedroom. She threw off her clothes as fast as possible, then stood in front of her mirror and focused on a new outfit. She started simple, with a recreation of her favorite pair of blue jeans, then added a black sweater on top to compliment it. She picked up her feet one by one, summoning cute black boots with thick heels, and giggled again when she saw they were able to support her weight. To finish the look, she envisioned a beautiful jacket she’d obsessed over earlier this year; dark red, big black buttons, and an elegant silhouette that flared around her waist. As the jacket formed, she continually made small adjustments, adding small decorative flairs, until she found the perfect look.

Her tail twitched back and forth in excitement, the elegant red fabric bunching up as it moved. To counter this, she reminded herself that none of this was real, it was simply an extension of her inner fire, and focused her thoughts on the jacket. She raised her tail again, only this time, the jacket seemed to turn intangible around it.

She squealed again, spun around to appreciate her outfit in the mirror, then ran back to the kitchen. “Mom! Look! I made a whole outfit, and it fits my tail and everything!”

Evelyn looked up from the counter where she’d just finished putting out breakfast for Amara. “Sweetie, you look incredible! Come here, turn around, let me see.” Amara ran close, happily showing off her handiwork.

When she finished her slow spin, however, she caught her mother tearing up. “Shit, Mom, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Her smile faded as she stepped closer, gently grabbing her mother’s shoulder to try and comfort her.

“No, I… it’s silly,” Evelyn muttered.

“Mom, everything is finally out in the open, don’t start with me.”

“Ugh, it’s just… you don’t understand how hard I tried to prevent this. There was nothing I wanted more than for you to live a happy, normal life. I’d made peace with the idea that you would never know about me, about my heritage. Yet, just now, seeing you get so excited… I can’t ignore how proud I am, dear. You’re more my daughter now than you’ve ever been. Your tail, your wings, they look just like mine.”

Amara hugged her mother tight, taking a deep breath before responding. “I don't know how weird this is to say, but… I'm happier like this. Yes, I've been through some terrible stuff these last few months, but I love who I am. I feel complete in a way I didn't before.”

“I'm happy for you, dear, I truly am, but there's so much at stake here. The thought of your soul being Damned, that you're destined for… for…”

“For Hell?” Amara said, finishing the sentence.

Evelyn seemed pained to even think it. “I could never live with myself if you ended up there. And that’s why, as much as it pains me to say this… I can’t stay.”

“Wait, what?” Amara gasped. The overwhelming joy from moments earlier seemed to wither away in a fraction of a second. “But we finally know the truth about each other! There’s so much I still don’t know; about you, about dad, about my powers! You’ve already taught me about illusions, and that only took a few minutes. Think how much I could learn if we had more time!”

“Sweetie, please, this isn’t a decision I make lightly. There’s nothing I want more than to be here with you, but we need to know how this started. I need to recover my strength, to read your soul and see exactly what you are.”

“You can do that here, can’t you?” Amara pleaded. “Mom, please, things are finally starting to make sense. I don’t want you to leave!”

As Amara’s words began to stutter and break apart, she fell into her mother’s arms. Evelyn held her close, rubbing her back as she spoke. “Amara, dear, I love you with everything I am. I want to give you the best life I possibly can, but that includes your afterlife as well. All I need is a few weeks, and then we can get to the bottom of this.”

“But what if something else happens? I wasn’t strong enough to protect everyone last time, and if something else slips through the gate…”

“Even if I stayed, love, I wouldn’t be able to help. Like I said, it’s been nearly a century since I’ve held any significant amount of power. I can tell, just from the way you talk, that you’re much stronger than I am.” Evelyn cupped Amara’s face, pulling her gaze higher so they could look at each other. “It’ll be okay, Amara.”

Amara sniffed loudly. “…Just a few weeks? Promise?”

“I promise, dear. It might even be less, who knows.” They hugged each other tight, and after a minute, Evelyn spoke up again. “Your omelet’s getting cold, by the way. I wouldn’t be a very good mom if I let you skip breakfast.”

“We both know I can just heat it up again…” Amara laughed, wiping a tear from her cheek. “But… thanks.”

Evelyn pushed Amara back to the counter, and the two of them began eating. Amara picked at her food slowly, knowing that every bite brought her closer to her mother leaving again. “How long can you stay?” she finally asked. Their tails twisted together again, and Amara leaned against her mother’s shoulder.

“The sooner I leave, the sooner I can come back,” Evelyn said quietly. “I hate this too, dear, but the fate of your soul is no laughing matter. When you’ve lived as long as I have, it becomes all too clear how fleeting mortality is.”

“…Am I immortal?” Amara asked nervously. She was almost finished with her omelet.

“I have no idea. Who you are, what you’ve been through, I honestly don’t know what to make of it. Even I’m not technically immortal; I can still be killed under the right circumstances.”

“Well, I’m happy that never happened,” Amara said, hugging her mother again. “I’ve never been more proud to be your daughter.”

“If you’re trying to convince me to stay, love, you’re making a damn strong argument,” Evelyn whispered. “Say, since you’re done with breakfast, how about I teach you how to teleport? From what I can tell, you’ve never done that before.”

Amara’s eyes light up. “That would be amazing! I did get summoned, once, but I never figured out if that teleportation was my own power or the magic circle.”

“I’ll bet it was you, love. Circles, especially ones made by humans, normally work by commanding demons to use their own power.” Evelyn slowly stood up, moving to the open floor in front of the entrance. “Was there hellfire? If there was, that’s a dead giveaway, especially if it had our signature purple tinge.”

“There was! That would explain why I was so drained when I arrived!”

Evelyn smiled, tears gathering in the corner of her eyes. “So, teleportation. Much like when you’re making illusions, part of the process is accepting that your location on Earth is impermanent. For demons as strong as us, we are is just as malleable as we are. You need to be familiar with your destination, to ground yourself in what it smells like, looks like, feels like. Picture yourself in that space, pool your energy, and manifest your presence just like you would an illusion or a burst of hellfire.”

Amara stood across from her mother, and flames began swirling around Evelyn. They reached out, holding hands as the fire intensified.

“Above all else,” Evelyn continued, “you have to know who you are. Remember that, in spite of what the world says, you’re a beautiful person. You belong here, you matter, and you can do anything you set your mind to.”

Amara wiped a tear from her cheek. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you more than life itself, Amara.” Evelyn pulled her hand back, the fire condensing and growing even brighter. “After picturing yourself in a new place, it’s equally important to vanish from where you’re leaving. Sometimes… sometimes it’s hard to leave, and there’s nothing you’d rather do less, but you need to convince yourself it’s the right thing to do. Once you’re ready, release the energy, and then—”

The swirling hellfire collapsed on Evelyn, who shone as bright as the sun before vanishing entirely. Amara stood perfectly still, watching the space where her mother had just been as she took a deep breath. She let herself sit in the moment, listening to the hum of the building’s furnace, the wind buffeting the cheap windows. Her phone sat on the counter, and moments later, started buzzing with excitement. The first vibration was quick, probably a text, but it rang a moment later. Amara released her breath, then muttered a silent goodbye to her mother.

She had a life to get back to.