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“Man fuck outta here,” I sucked my teeth. “I was wrong, and I was foul, but you’re not getting in an Uber. Come on man. I’ll get the plates from Nina, and we can be out.”

“I don’t need permission from you to get in an Uber. I’m a grown ass woman.”

Nina was walking in our direction with plates in a plastic bag. Wonder was right. She was grown. If she didn’t want to ride with me, then that was what it was. Pivoting, I turned around and ambled toward the car. Once I was inside, I hit the steering wheel. “Fuck!”

WONDER

Sitting in my car, I was clutching the steering wheel with my head resting on it. Eyes closed, I attempted to calm my racing thoughts. It was me that had been apprehensive about having another child at the moment. It was Wilde that assured me we were a team. And it was also Wilde that had missed my first doctor’s appointment. It had been more than twenty-four hours since we said anything to one another, but he had known about my appointment since the day it was scheduled. The fact that I had to sit up in that appointment alone hurt. I blinked away tears the entire visit.

What he’d done the day before at Nina’s house had been pushed to the back of my mind because despite what happened, he was still the father of my child. He should have been there even if we weren’t speaking. We didn’t stop being Wylder’s parents when we were mad at one another. The fact that he thought I would sip lean pregnant and the fact that he put his hands on me had me reeling. For the past day, my life had felt like an out of body experience.

I allowed myself to have a good cry right in the parking lot of the doctor’s office. When I was done, I held my head high and drove to the grocery store, so I could prepare dinner before Ipicked the kids up from daycare. It appeared that Willow would be with us indefinitely, and I didn’t mind at all. But it wasn’t the right time for another baby. It was just too damn much. The look in Wilde’s eyes when he gripped my face and said he’d kill me was actually scary. Up until that very moment no one could have paid me to believe that he’d ever do anything remotely close to harming me. I knew he’d been traumatized by what happened to Willow, but I wasn’t Misha, and he had better remember that shit.

I knew exactly what I wanted and needed, so it took me less than fifteen minutes inside the grocery store. At home, I placed my purse and the ultrasound photo on the kitchen counter and began removing items from the bags. The meal that I was preparing was Jambalaya rice with chicken, sausage, and shrimp in it, with corn on the cob. It wasn’t too difficult or time consuming to prepare. The doctor had sent a prescription for nausea medication over to the pharmacy, and I was having it delivered to the house. I couldn’t wait to start it. Working and running in behind two kids while fighting the urge to vomit wasn’t fun.

The front door opened, and the fact that my heart began to race wasn’t a good thing. After years, I still got excited when I was around Wilde. He made me blush. There were times that he still gave me butterflies but this time, I wasn’t sure about seeing him because I didn’t want it to get bad. I didn’t want to argue, but I was pissed. Real pissed, and I was afraid of what I might say. When it came to arguing, we didn’t do a lot of that and when we did, the makeup sex was always top-tier. But I wasn’t in the mood for all that. I just wanted life to be easy and soft.

“What up?” he mumbled walking into the kitchen smelling like a pound of weed.

I really tried to open my mouth and respond, but nothing happened. My jaws were locked. Wilde didn’t say anything.Keeping my back to him, I flipped the shrimp. It only took about thirty seconds for him to break the silence.

“Really, G? You didn’t remind me that you had an appointment today?” he had the nerve to actually sound hurt.

Whirling around, I frowned at him because he didn’t get to be the victim. “Nobody had to remind me because I’m an adult. You knew about the appointment just like I did.”

Wilde tugged at his curls with both hands. “I’m trying, G. Got damn! What more do you want from me?”

“What do I want from you? I want you to help me like you said you would! I get that you have to work. I work too. And I get that this is the best place for Willow to be, and I love her. But there are two toddlers in this house, and I’m pregnant. Pregnant with a baby that you assured me was going to be easy to deal with carrying.”

“Maybe we don’t need another kid right now.”

His words made my heart slam into my ribcage. “Are you fucking serious right now?” I choked out. The fact that I was crying pissed me off even more, but I couldn’t help it. Things were going real bad real fast.

“I’m going to get the kids.” Wilde snatched his keys off the counter and walked right back out the door.

Leaning against the counter, I cried. My ass was so damn tired of crying it wasn’t even funny. I was in a relationship that was healthy ninety-seven percent of the time. Financially, we were more than good, and I loved being a mother. The fact that I was even contemplating an abortion was crazy but for a few seconds, I thought about making an appointment to terminate the pregnancy. Quickly, I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. I heard the heartbeat earlier. I saw my tiny bean on the ultrasound machine. I found myself wondering if it was a boy or a girl. Thinking of names and planning the nursery theme. If I ended my pregnancy I knew I’d regret it forever.

When the food was done, I went upstairs and took a shower. When I was done, I put some food in a bowl and took it upstairs to the bedroom to eat. By the time Wilde came home with the kids, I had dosed off. He had been gone for more than two hours, so I knew he didn’t bring them home right after picking them up. I loved Willow and Wylder with everything in me, but I was so exhausted I just wanted to stay in bed a little longer.

It didn’t take them long to find me, and they ran into the room with big smiles on their faces. Wilde stopped them before they could climb on the bed. “No outside clothes in the bed, remember. Let’s take baths and eat, and then you can chill with her.”

No matter how I felt about him missing the appointment or even accusing me of drinking lean, I was grateful for the help. I was shocked to see Nina with double stacked cups, but it wasn’t my job to judge or get in her business. Pierre was a street nigga just like Nine, but something about this relationship had Nina different. I joked about her having a YN, but if being with a younger man wasn’t going to leave her with a better situation than she had with Pierre, I wasn’t sure how much good it would do. I was trying to mind my business and let her do whatever it was that she needed to be happy. I just didn’t want my girl getting hurt or caught up. Pierre had done a number on her, and she deserved to be happy.

I dosed back off and by the time the kids entered the room, I felt a little more refreshed. We cuddled and watched cartoons, then I read them a story and tucked them in. I had a long day at the shop the following day, so as soon as they were asleep, I brushed my teeth and got right back in bed. I lay there watching TV for about an hour before Wilde went into the ensuite bathroom to take a shower. I didn’t like the space we were in, but I also knew that every day in a relationship wouldn’t be a goodday. I knew for sure though that his ass better never grab my face like he was crazy again.

When the shower water turned off, I turned on my side and closed my eyes. I wanted to go ahead and fall asleep. Any other time falling asleep wasn’t something I had trouble doing but by the time I felt the mattress move underneath the weight of his body, I was still awake. The silence in the room was loud. My heart was beating a little faster than normal. My nervous system wasn’t regulated, and I hated that for me.

“I need you, G.” Wilde’s voice was low, and it held a pleading tone. I wanted to ignore him, but something wouldn’t let me. Turning over, I opened my eyes and looked at him. Putting my pride to the side, I had to admit that Wilde appeared hurt. Shit, maybe even broken.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’ve been fucked up ever since that shit with Misha. Pierre is pissing me off. I’m scared that once all my savings gets low that we’ll be struggling financially. I’m used to living a certain way. It’s everything man, but none of it is your fault.”

I scooted closer to Wilde. “I know you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders naturally, but you don’t have to. I don’t want you doing everything, but I can’t do everything either. We’re a team. We just have to figure out a system that works for us. But if you ever grab my face like that again, I know something,” I warned. “I don’t take too kindly to being threatened either.”

“I’d kill myself before I ever hurt you. You have to know that.” Wilde sounded sincere. The pain in his eyes ran deep, and I could tell my man was stressed. “I can’t do this shit without you, G.” Wilde ran the pad of his thumb back and forth across my cheek.

We stared at one another for what felt like the longest time before he snaked his tongue into my mouth. The kiss started offslow and sensual then it got deep and aggressive. Wilde inched over and lifted until he was on top of me all while never breaking the kiss. When he did pull back, he kissed my left cheek then my right exactly where he’d squeezed. He then placed the softest kisses on the corner of my mouth.

Wilde peered into my eyes like he was checking the temperature. I almost felt weak for giving in so easily, but he was human, and the load got heavy for him to carry too. We weren’t perfect and, in that moment, we had kids to raise and a life to keep running. I wanted things smooth. Tension in the house, the two of us not speaking walking around with wrinkles in our foreheads wasn’t good for anybody. Especially not Willow who had been through enough.