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I shoved the window shade up and looked out at the fields surrounding Heathrow. In the distance, London sparkled.

Home. I should feel more kinship for this place. I’d grown up here, after all. Yet, my chest felt empty. We’d stay in the city and tomorrow make the trip out to the estate where Emily was buried.

“I’m coming, Ems,” I whispered, watching the light reflecting off the tall city buildings in the distance, their shapes as familiar to me as my own reflection.

“I’ll be there soon.”

I pushed myself harder than usual in the gym the next morning. It was in the basement of the London townhouse where I’d spent a lot of my childhood. I lifted heavier, I ran harder and longer. Still, thoughts jumbled in my head. I wasn’t able to reach the place of quiet I usually did. It was just because of visiting Emily, I told myself.

The number of times I pulled my phone out, about to check the cameras in the Hade Harbor house, made a mockery of that line of thinking. I resisted each time, barely.

When I was exhausted physically and mentally, I left the gym and took the lift to the top floor. Cal was in the hallway, already dressed and heading toward the stairs.

“We’re leaving in ten minutes,” he reminded me in a black suit, shirt, and tie. He always made an effort for Emily.

“I’ll be ready, don’t worry.” I walked toward my room. “Couldn’t skip the workout just because of a little jet lag, could I?”

“If you’re sure that’s the only reason you’re trying to kill yourself on four hours of sleep.”

“Why else?” I stopped and pinned him with a look. Did he know something? Had he seen something?

He just shrugged.

“Nothing, I guess. I’ll see you downstairs.”

He turned and ambled down the stairs, but not before I saw a small smirk on his face. Fuck. Hehadseen something.

I closed the door to my room and stripped, getting straight into a cold shower. I forced myself to stay there for five minutes before I turned the dial hot. I waited for the usual rush that the contrasts gave me, but it didn’t come. The workout had given me no high, and neither did the shower… nothing did since our last encounter, fucking Selena through our clothes until she fell apart in my arms. Clinging to me, moaning for me, kissing me so sweetly.

Nothing could compare.

My head was just as messy as it had been when I’d woken up. Again, it was Selena’s fault. I didn’t know what she was up to, and it was a distraction. What if she’d invited that fucker Nick over to the house? She’d hardly tell me in advance, never mind ask for permission. Of course, I could tell her what he’d said. Then she wouldn’t seek him out. I already knew I wouldn’t, even as I had the thought.

I dried off and got dressed, a suit and shirt, a tie, and even a pocket square. Only the best for Emily.

Downstairs, Cal waited for me.

“Ready?” he asked.

We waited out on the street for the car to arrive.

“Ready.” I sighed, thinking back to all the times we’d waited to travel to the estate since her death. We’d stopped living there after she’d died. It had felt like a punishment to have her laid torest so close to home, only to be moved away and never allowed to come back to live. Typical John move.

The car pulled up, and we were off.

London faded into the English countryside beyond the windows. Cal stared out, unbothered by the simple act of sitting in silence with his own company, while I itched to distract myself. I took my phone out to check emails.

Instead, I found myself clicking on the security camera app.

It loaded before I could talk myself out of looking.

And there it was, in black and white, the kitchen of the house in Hade Harbor. It was still deep night there. Nothing to see. Regardless, I clicked through the different feeds. The upstairs hall held my attention the longest. Selena’s door was closed tightly.

I pictured her in bed. The scent of her skin filled my head.

Fuck. I was getting hard thinking of her, and last night.My stepsister.

I clicked my phone off and shoved it aggressively into my pocket.