Chapter 403

As Ben cracked open his eyes he was forced to confront another change to himself beyond the massive one in his head. Any time he’d leveled his complex mind in the past, there had always been a small change to his perspective that had come with it as the divide between seeing the big picture versus the smaller details shrunk, but as things were, the gap had now vanished altogether. It now felt like he saw the world with perfect clarity as he took everything in, putting together just where he was.He could tell he wasn’t lying on the battlefield, nor was he in any of the nearby forts that each nation had built. Instead, it looked like he was in the field hospital set up in the city with healers of all sorts running around, treating a shockingly small number of people given the chaos he’d seen before the world went dark, with the reason for that being apparent as he heard Thera’s voice.

“Give those two to me and go focus on someone else, I’ll be quicker and you need something easier to regain a bit of mana,” She ordered as Ben turned his head to the side to watch as she worked. “Have more patients been brought in yet?”

“We’re just getting them now,” Another healer called out as she nodded.

“Well get them to my area so we can get them out of here. I don’t know if you’re going to have me after tomorrow so take advantage while you can.”

He felt himself smile seeing her throw out orders as other healers rushed to do what she said while he laid there quietly, not wanting to draw attention to himself, nor wanting to have to talk to her, at least not yet.

He knew he wasn’t at fault for what had happened and Myriad had made sure to assure him no others did either, but that didn’t stop the feeling of guilt from gnawing at him. He was in no rush to see her thoughts on the matter, so instead he stayed quiet as hours passed, watching as people came in and were sent out as an untold number of light and life spells were cast around him.

During that time he barely moved and did his best not to think. His body wasn’t sore from the strain it had been put under, likely being healed early on, but he wanted to relax in that bit of time he had until eventually, Thera seeming free from the constant flow of work, walked over to him with a level of exhaustion that vanished the second she saw he was awake as she rushed over, throwing herself at him and wrapping him in her arms.

Neither of them said anything in that moment, both just feeling relief. Thera for the fact that Ben had finally woken up, and Ben for her not directing any anger over what happened to him.

It was only as those quiet seconds passed that she pulled back just enough to look into his eyes, giving him a very tired smile

“Hey sleepyhead. You were out for a while.”

“Only two days, right? I’ve been out for longer.”

“Ha, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s passed out as much as you have.”

“Well, it’s a big world out there. There’s gotta be one or two guys who are worse for it than me.”

Her smile became just a little less tired as they spoke and fell back to silence, it only slipping away as she thought about all she had to catch him up on.

“Ben, um, how much do you remember about everything that happened?”

“Not much, but Myriad caught me up. I’m sorry.”

“Ben, whatever you did brought a month-long battle down to less than a day. You don’t have anything to be sorry for.”

“I killed seven hundred people, of course I do.”

Guilt and rage were thick in his voice as he averted his eyes, not able to look at her. It was only when she gently took his face in his hands, pulling it back to her that he had no choice, not fighting off her touch and not seeing a hint of judgment in her gaze.

“Ben, I’m going to be clear with you. That was not your fault. I don’t think so, none of the spirits I’ve seen think so, my father and the other great spirits don’t think so and not even Vividus thinks so. You weren’t able to do anything like that before your skill awakened and you didn’t know what was in there, how can you possibly be blamed? It was that fucking bastard Iberu…”

She trailed off, feeling her own rage flood her as she thought about it. The weapon had felt off to her the moment she’d laid eyes on it, but that was it. Otherwise, the head of the craftsman’s guild had seemed nothing but reasonable so she had pushed the feeling away. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined how many of her people were being sacrificed in the name of trying to save the world. How many more would have been if things hadn’t been discovered with the weapon’s destruction was a question that hung heavily on her mind.

“Sure, none of you can blame me and none of you can speak for the dead,” He sighed. “I’m glad you don’t hate me for this, but I’m not going to be so quick to forgive myself. It’s fine, it’s just one more thing to haunt me.”

He watched her chew on her lip, not knowing anything she could do that could help as he moved to put her at ease, not wanting to worry her with whatever was going through his many minds.

“So hey, are you almost done here? I could use some real food and some rest in a nicer bed, when do you think you’ll be able to head out?”

“Now. I came to check on you because I needed to leave anyway so if you’re feeling up to it then let's go.”

It was a desirable prospect and he moved to make it happen, sitting up for the first time in days as blood flowed to his stiff muscles while he moved his body, bringing everything back to life as he got back to his feet.

Thera clung to his arm as he did, as if to push away any thoughts that she might feel some misplaced blame towards him as they walked out, the other patients and healers they passed seeing her leave with many bowing while others respectfully giving their goodbyes, one word on all of their lips.

“Goodbye saintess.”

“Thank you for your work, saintess.”

“Thanks for the healing miss saintess!”

“Don’t say a word,” Thera muttered, golden blush spread across her cheeks as they were leaving.

“I literally cannot not comment on this, saintess,” He told her with a grin, some of his worries forgotten as she groaned and rested her head against his arm.

“Someone started calling me that yesterday and then more people started no matter what I said and I got it as a stupid title, okay? Gods above I don’t care about how helpful it is, I think I hate titles. I don’t even know how I met the qualifications for this one.”

“You know the qualifications?”

“Mmh, there’s usually a couple people with it at any time,” She told him, wanting to move past it but seeing the topic was acting to distract him from all that had happened. “And yeah, I have powerful healing magic, but that’s only one bit! I also need to be loved not only by the people I’m healing but by a god too, there’s no way-”

“I mean, Anailia does love you though?” Ben pointed out, not sure where the confusion was coming from. “And that’s not to mention how much Myriad talks about how much he likes you. Besides, with how many people you were healing leading up to this do you really think you aren’t loved by them? I think you plenty meet the qualifications with all you do. Besides, this is definitely one that is going to give good bonuses to life magic, right? And how many people have you even healed since I’ve been out?”

“I don’t know. A couple thousand, maybe more? They just kept bringing more in through different gates and I just kept treating them, plus I kept up an earth healing spell to help things along for others… Wait, why does your god love me?”

“He likes that you try to keep me from doing anything crazy," He laughed as he opened the door, only for shock to bring him back to silence.

If he hadn’t been able to see craftsman’s tower still standing in the distance he would have thought he’d been taken somewhere else entirely. Save for a few buildings that seemed unusually untouched here and there, everything was destroyed, reduced to rubble and dust, leaving everything that made the city what it was simply gone.

It was too much to properly react to when he saw it, all Ben could do was let out a low whistle.

“Damn, so this is what happens after demons break through, huh?”

“Not exactly.”

“Huh?”

“It was the spirits,” Thera told him as she surveyed the carnage. “When word got out about what happened, there were only so many responsible parties they could take their anger out on, so instead, well, this.”

It seemed that no people were hurt in the act, with all of the untouched buildings being the few that were holding the adventurers who’d been guarding the town, but everything else had been destroyed. Broken down to a level where it wouldn’t be worth the effort to rebuild.

He didn’t notice he was standing in place, planted to the ground as he surveyed the carnage until he felt Thera tug on his arm, pulling him along.

“Come on, the embassy is still standing since I’m the one staying there, let’s go.”

They walked through the desolate streets, no markers to help show their way but not needing any. With no buildings obstructing their views, they could see their destination with ease and Thera cleared a path, using her magic to push any rubble to the side as they went in, climbing the stairs to their rooms.

“So what are you thinking? I’ll cook some food and then we can pass out and pretend the last few days never happened?”

“No.”

She pushed him against a wall and kissed him, slipping a ring into his hand and spoke up at the same time he was figuring out just what the enchantments on it were for.

“Ben, it has been a very long couple of days and the next few might end up even worse so right now all I want to do is focus on you and have you focus on me without worrying about whatever else is going on in the world, okay?”

Her face was twinkling in the light, the two of them both knowing what she was thinking and without another word, he pulled her to her room, the prospect far more desirable than going over the past few days ever could be as they spent the night enjoying the company the other provided.