Page 3
The story starts in Chapter 3 of "Facing Leeward": Iām so centered and focused on what Iām doing that I donāt even hear it... Donāt miss it!
Iām so centered and focused on what Iām doing that I donāt even hear it when Nils comes back. His throat clearing startles me mid-chorus of an Eminem rap that I only know one of every dozen words to. I donāt drop anything, thankfully, but a little puff of flour hits the front of my hoodie when I jostle the bowl.
āSorry,ā Nils says, coming to lean against the counter a goodfive feet away from me.
āYou move like a ninja.ā I slide the bowl across the counter so there is less space between us. He talks so quietly, itās sometimes hard to hear. I donāt want to miss anything.
āHeat is working again,ā he says, and indeed, itās so soft I can barely hear the words over the sound of me folding the dough in the metal bowl. I pause. Sure enough, I can hear the soft click and feel warm air against the back of my neck as it blows from the vent.
āWow, thank you. What was it? Was it theā¦pilot light?ā I ask in the hopes Iāll sound a bit like I know what Iām talking about. Iām pretty sure pilot lights are a thing. Although, now that Iām thinking about it, I donāt know if I heard that phrase on one of the HVAC videos I watched or another one. Shoot, pilot lights are on boats, not houses, right? Clearing my throat, I continue talking before he can answer or correct me. āThanks for doing that. I think Iāll have to replace it, eventually. It seems to be ready for retirement.ā
I pat the counter so my haunted mansion knows I donāt have any hard feelings.
āYou canāt stay here without-ou-ou-ou-t heat,ā Nils says, finishing with an annoyed twitch of his shoulder and a glare at the wall over my shoulder. I watch him from the corner of my eye, drinking in the sight of him in my kitchen.
Weāre about the same size, but something about Nils always makes me thinkbig, and something about myself seems to make other people thinksmall. When I worked at the Mirage in New York as a line chef, my friend Simon told me I had ātwinkenergy.ā Heād said it with something of a sneer in his voice, clueing me in to the fact that it wasnāt a compliment. Itās possible I donāt have a good grasp of what kind of person a twink actually is, because I donāt see one when I look in the mirror. Not that it matters, I suppose, although working in such close proximity to Nils and Shiloh this past year has made me think of the twink energy comment more often than I used to. Maybe twink is a vibe, not an aesthetic. In which case, I probably am one. Sure, Iām tall and muscular like them, but while Nils and Shiloh look like grizzled Vikings fresh from a day of plundering, Iām fair-skinned, pink-cheeked, and prone to breaking out in song.
āWhat?ā Nils says, snapping me back to attention. It takes me a second to figure out that look on his faceāwide-eyed and a little confusedāis because Iāve just said all of that out loud. I grimace.Inside thoughts, I remind myself, once more managing to sound like my father. My cheeks feel hot. I turn my face away from him.
āOh, sorry, thatā¦ā I probably wonāt do myself any favors by admitting I hadnāt meant to say that out loud. Instead, I utilize an old standby and say, āThat was a joke.ā
Nils doesnāt laugh, which Iām appreciative of. If he had, heād have been laughing at me. Puffing out my cheeks, I scoop the cookies and start placing them on a pan. I wonder what he was expecting when he got into his truck to bring me eggs. Probably not home repairs, a twink identity crisis, and baking.
āAll right,ā I tell him cheerfully, sliding the baking sheet into the oven. āIn twelve minutes, there will be fresh-baked cookies to exchange for all the hard work you did fixing myheat.ā
Nils smiles and makes a vague hand gesture toward the front door that I interpret as an offer to leave. I shake my head and fill in the blanks.
āYou donāt have to leave! Unless youāre busy or need to get back to the chickens. Is the winter hard on them? Do they roam around free, or are they locked up? I really donāt know anything about keeping chickens, if Iām honest. Iāll have to watch some videos. OrāāI perk upāāyou could teach me. Then, if you ever need to go out of town or something, I can pop over and take care of them while youāre gone. Itās kind of wild that weāre neighbors, and yet we rarely see one another. Well, other than work, obviously. But that doesnāt count. I mean like thisāāI wave a hand around the unfinished kitchen, Nils watching me with steady, brown eyesāāwhen you come over for fun.ā
Nils makes a soft noise like a laugh caught in his throat. Likely thinking of how heās never once come over for fun before. I donāt correct myself, because by now I think heās fully aware that words come out of my mouth long before Iāve thought them through. He doesnāt seem to mind. Thankfully.
āYou can meet the chickens,ā he confirms. I beam. Today might be the first time heās ventured my way for fun, but it sure as heck will not be the last.
I open my mouth to reply, but my gaze catches on Nilsā throat. Sometimes, before he speaks, he swallows a couple of times or moves his jaw like heās chewing on the words and getting a feel for them. It usually means heās got more to say. Snapping my own overworked jaw closed, I wait.
āThey stay locked up where itās warm,ā Nils says, giving me a slightly stern look that I have no trouble interpreting asbecause their heat actually functions.
āIt was only one night,ā I tell him in my own defense, not bringing up the dozens of other nights this winter where the unit stopped working and I had to sleep in a parka. āAnd it really wasnāt that cold last night. Maybe for a chicken, but Iāve got plenty to keep me warm.ā
I pat my stomach. Nilsā eyes follow the movement, another very small smile curving the corners of his lips. I wonder how many people miss out on his microexpressions simply because they arenāt staring hard enough at him. Dryden Royāwho, admittedly, doesnāt have a lot of nice things to say about anyoneāsays Nils is the cardboard man. But heās not. You only have to know where to look.
Itās not until laterāwhen weāre sitting on my plastic-sheeting-covered couch, feet propped up on the crate I use for a coffee table, plates of warm cookies in our handsāthat Nils speaks again.
āCall me the next time you lose heat.ā
Chapter Three
NILS
Oliver tips his head back and laughs, pale throat exposed and bright in the sun. Fog puffs from his mouth in the freezing morning air. Whatever Shiloh said to him must have been hilarious, because the smile remains on his face and only draws attention to the rosiness of his cheeks and the red of his nose. The tips of his hair are stuck out around the beanie pulled down over his ears, the dark green bringing the ocean hues out in his eyes. He looks chilly and adorable and distracting. Winter is pretty on him.
Of course, so is summer. I loved lobster fishing when it was Shiloh, his dad, and I working theDrifter. I loved it the seasons Shiloh and I hauled traps alone. But nothing can compare to how much I love this job now that Oliver is hereāstanding next to me as we empty the traps, verifying the size, checking to make sure the lobster isnāt an egger, giving them a V-notch and tossing them back if they are, all while singing along to a melody only he can hear. I love how last season heād startedhanding the lobsters covered in barnacles over to me.
āThis old gal needs a Nils special,ā heād say, grinning, and I would dutifully pinch off the barnacles with pliers. Before tossing them back, heād hand me a pogie to tuck into their claw and joke, āA snack for the swim down.ā
We all do thatāclean off the lobsterās shells before tossing them back in the water. Barnacles can impact the lobsterās ability to molt. Oliver can clean them off just as easily as me, but somehow, he figured out that I like the task and stopped doing it for himself in order to share with me. Thinking about it now, I wish it werenāt the low season and that we were hauling.
The day is, by all accounts, pretty uneventful. Shiloh pines for the water and work in the winter months, and Iām no different. I wish we were hauling instead of doing repairs in the workshop, too. But even without lobstering to perk him up, lately, Shilohās been as outwardly joyful as Oliver, happily living in his honeymoon phase with Ewan Fate. I shake my head, still unable to fathom how the pair of them danced around what was so obvious to everyone else for so long. Even Iāhigh school dropout and chronic loner that I amācould see the attraction. It was evident, even back in our school days. Except, apparently, to them.
Iām happy for him, though. Both of them, but mostly Shiloh. Ewanās been gone for so long, and we had so little to do with one another when we were younger that I donāt feel as though I know the man. I knowofhim, sure, but Iām neither friendly nor intelligent enough to manage more. Ewan is a bit of a celebrity, and thereās nothing quite like being in his vicinity to remind mejust how low on the food chain I really am.