Chapter 48: Happy Hunts and Happy Visits.

I panted as I finished off the last barkbark. I was lucky enough to chance upon a swarm, the lot of them individually weak and susceptible to my eyes and aura of intimidation. It was soo much fun killing them, and it brought me delight like no other when they began to scatter and flee. Hunting them like hide and go seek was sooo much fun!The menace mana within me churned at these actions. It delighted upon the carnage that I wrought.

I stopped, and the magic nigh instantly began to deflate, but I held onto it. I held on to the feeling, and I felt my mana respond once more.

But it was a mere whimper. A sad goodbye. My menace mana grew weak and limp, dropping back down to normal levels.

I could technically just activate the mana inside of me, with the specific intent to corrupt my own mind, and the magic would do so gleefully. But the goal was to be in control, to do it under my own terms. Only then could I safely take the shortcut.

…The shortcut also didn’t work nearly as well as the emotions being genuine or occurring more naturally. I didn’t know why that was the case; the menace mana inside of me was technically always influencing me in some way, but that was fine… . It didn’t seem to affect the results negatively at all.

Magic was fucking weird.

I loved it.

I trained even harder.

I repeated the same exercise, I wrought the same carnage upon the forest. I’d had to range further and further away over the months, just because a lot of the animals, especially the weaker ones, began to avoid the area where I hunted.

My breaths came out as satisfied rasps as I stood over the corpse of a Crushnake. It was a very big snake, a regenerator and a constrictor predator nearing level 20. It was very troublesome to fight because of how agile it could be, and its propensity to get close and up in my face. I had to resort back to the basics to drive it away, taking out the fire wand that I made sure to keep with me and burning everything within proximity.

There was the problem of course, of the interference living and conscious souls have against magic, denying me control over mana if it’s too close to an adversary. But my own presence interfered with that interference in turn, allowing my magic to not be rendered impotent if something was foolish enough to stick close to myself.

Afterwards, it was only a matter of peppering the animal with menace bullets, and slashing at it over and over with my sword. Crucially, my menace magic somehow seemed to interfere with the creature’s healing, allowing me to quickly overcome its regeneration and win.

“Great. I’m awesome.” I held on to my negative emotions. I allowed them to fester by themselves, and the mana within me pulsed. I reviewed the previous battles in my mind, while also maintaining my focus on only the most menacing thoughts.

Another thing that required further training. I settled back into my twisted form of mediation, aiming for the complete opposite state of peace.

I listened to the consistent rhythm of Moonwash working the forge. She had gotten it set up near the entrance of our cavern for proper ventilation, with air enchantments to dissipate the smoke and not announce for miles that there were people right here. There were no ready sources of animals with the element nearby, so we had to make do with our reserves.

The enchantments were actually turned off most of the time, and Moonwash did most of her forging at night, to not have the smoke be so detectable. She was just knee-deep in a project today, hence the source of perfect background noise.

I meditated on my murderous desires, the envy that I sometimes felt towards Moonwash became included in that whole soup. I allowed it to flow through me this time, I considered how satisfying the looks on their faces would be if I betrayed everyone I’ve ever loved.

The menace mana responded to the state of my desires, I opened myself up to the magic and I shouted at it in turn. The mana flared up and continued to gather in strength, raising as high up as half of what I was capable of after long minutes of battle.

That was my current limit, and I was predictably unsatisfied with it. I pushed harder and harder, and I found my efforts rewarded my menace magic rose further in strength. 55%, 60%, more…

“Haell!”

A voice distracted me from my training, and I snapped my head toward it in annoyance. My menace mana deflated a moment after, along with all negative thoughts, as I saw my mom standing right there, carrying an oversized pack.

“Mommy!” I shouted, ramming into her belly. She caught me in a hug, before raising an eyebrow in mild surprise.

“Mommy?”

“Ah! N-nothing. I was just surprised!”

She laughed and patted me on the head, brushing against my horns. “It’s okay, Haell. You can call me that if you want.”

“...Nah. I'm good.”

“Whatever you say,” she giggled.

Dad came down to the cavern a moment after her, and I also gave him a big crushing hug. I had missed them so much, and I was so happy to meet them again, which meant that it was the perfect time for me to practice more of my menace magic.

…Wait a second. Those supplies for us. So there’s no need to steal anything…

I needed another angle to tackle this from.

I nearly gagged just thinking that, but I pushed on.

“Haell?” Dad said. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing much.” I flashed a rictus grin and squeezed hard upon my emotions, keeping them menacing. “I’m just thinking about the literal worst things ever!”

“What…? Why?”

I explained to them both about my recent training and my magic.

“That sounds difficult. Are you sure this is fine Haell? You can go home, you know? You don’t have to fight…” Dad spoke a lot more than normal, clearly worried for me.

“Oh, I’m perfectly fine! No need to worry about me!”

“We can stay with you,” Mom interjected, “You said that we’re helping, right? Making you happy, which you then have to resist?”

“Ah. Yeah. It’d be nice if you could stay for a while, but… I think you might… disapprove of some of my training methods.”

“What methods?” Dad asked.

I told them about how hard I pushed myself, the injuries and the pain.

“Haell!” Dad raised his voice, something he did very rarely. “Why?” He glared at Luine, “Is someone forcing you to do this?”

“No! No, not at all! It’s my decision!”

“But why…?”

“Because…” “Because I’m a .”

“I… That’s not a reason.”

“It is to me. It means something to me. More than just a species. It’s my dream.”

Dad sagged on his seat. The place had really livened up in the past months. The cavern was turned into essentially one big hall, with a few rooms at the back for privacy. The ceiling was still that of a cave, except the stalactites had been polished and cleaned, decorated with various strings, rocks, jewels, and other things, some of which glowed in the dark. We could see the forge, the kitchen, the dining hall, and more from the living area we were in. The space flowed beautifully from one thing to the next with little in the way of partitions.

“You dream, huh…?” Dad finally said. “Alright. Just promise… not even to stay safe, you won’t. But promise me to stay alive.”

“Of course!” I grinned, trying to be as reassuring as could be. I eased up on stoking my menace mana. “I don't want to die either. I don’t want to die Not if I can help it.”

Dad nodded. He just had to content himself with that. And a hug, of course. A big hug!

“You know, Haell,” Mom spoke up next. “I can take it! Even if you lose all your limbs and suffer a million pains, as long as you remain alive and willing, I can stay here and support you!”

I smiled. “Yeah, I know Mom. But I have to leave the nest at some point. Just visit me, and I’ll also visit the uh, nest again once I’m able!”

“Ah, I tried!” she raised her arms in the air. “But I was rejected! How sad!”

“What? No! I don’t mean it that way!”

“My child… my daughter… she’s at her rebellious phase!”

“I’m actually much older mentally, come on!”

“Waaaahhhhh!!!” She actually cried. “She doesn’t need her parents anymore. She tosses her mom into the streets!”

“Mom, no!” I shook her arm and she swayed with the motion. We were both laughing at the end, and my menace mana peaked, in harmony with my joy.