Page 225
Chapter 225 of "Tempting Venom" starts with dramatic events: 31PRESTONSomethingâs wrong.In my head. In my body. In my rotten soul.I tried altering my brain... Discover what happens!
31
PRESTON
Somethingâs wrong.
In my head. In my body. In my rotten soul.
I tried altering my brain with chemical potionsâaka medsâbut theyâre barely working. I can sense it, you know, thescratch scratch scratchinside my mind.
For days, Iâve been biting my lip and trying to rein it in, but the overflow will flood me sooner or later.
The screwed-up chemistry in my head will riot, and thereâs no stopping that.
But I need to fix it somehow.
JustâŚfixit.
Thatâs why I delivered myself to one of my favorite placesâDr. Duretâs couch. Sheâs sitting across from me, looking warm and cozy in a black-and-white-striped cardigan with gold buttons and beige slacks.
Leather-bound notebook in hand, she just sits still and waits, never urging me to talk.
Because thatâs what therapists do, I guess.
âI didnât go to see Marcus yesterday.â I hold a hand up. âI know, I know. Iâve basically been dropping by his place every night since we were caught by his mom over two weeks ago, butâŚwell, Iâm not feeling well. The night before last, Ichoked him in my sleep. I know because he went to bed completely fine and woke up with fingerprints on his neck. It couldnât have been ghosts like my brain tried to gaslight me into thinkingâit was me. I felt so much regret, but instead of saying I was sorry like a sane person, I went ahead and did the exact opposite. As in, I blew up in his face and left.â
Iâm breathing heavily, the sound harsh in the silence, accentuated by the loud grandfather clock on the wall. Wait. Was that always there? No, I wouldâve noticed it if it were, wouldnât I?
Also, where are the stars? Why did she remove them from the ceiling?
âDo you want to tell me why you blew up?â Dr. Duretâs posture and expression donât change.
âHe was lying to me.â I stand up and pace, running an agitated hand through my hair. âI asked if Iâd hurt him in my sleep, and he said it didnât matter.Whydidnât it matter? Why? What ifâŚwhat ifâŚâ
âWhat if?â
I stop and bite the inside of my cheek so hard, a coppery tang explodes in my mouth. âWhat if I kill him?â
âYou wouldnât want that, no?â
I shake my head once. âIâŚwouldnât be able to forgive myself. Thatâs why I decided that I needed to stay away. YouâŚyou know me when I get volatile.â
âSo you just disappear? Do you believe heâd like that?â
I flop back on the couch, grumbling. âItâs for his own good.â
âThat doesnât answer my question.â
âHe wouldnât. Hedoesnât.â I let out a breath. âHe told me goodbye.â
âIs that why youâre upset?â
âItâs not that I donât want to go. IâŚI like it, you know. Spending time with him, I mean. I thought it was because I was dick-drunk or something, but my attachment to him is not only because of the sex. Donât get me wrong, I love the sex. I thinkâŚI think itâs the first time Iâve enjoyed it properly. I thought I loved tying them up, but really, it wasnât control I wanted, itâs pain and surrender, butâŚâ
âBut only when youâre safe?â
A faint tremor touches my lips. âYeah. IâŚI felt safe with Marcus from the get-go, didnât I?â
âI think so. You enjoy eroticizing what was once weaponized against you, and thereâs nothing wrong with that, Preston.â