Page 27
Chapter 27 of "Maybe We Can Find It" introduces the scene: Smooth skin revealed as clothes disappear, round curves to map out. Her waist is thin,... Keep going!
Smooth skin revealed as clothes disappear, round curves to map out. Her waist is thin, but her hips are a bit wider. Her legs are long. I know her calves are toned, but I wonder if she goes to a gym, of it that comes naturally from working on her feet all day.
The picture gets fuzzy somewhere between her legs, my imagination struggling to come up with something when the only frame of reference I really have is my own body. But the sound of a vibrator buzzing is loud in my mind.
I focus my fantasy on her face. On how hot she must look when she tumbles over the edge of pleasure.
And with that final image, I come back to myself, realizing what Iām doing. That Iām standing here in this womanās shower. That my skin is hot and tight. That Iāve gotten turned on imagining her in an intimate moment that Iāve never actually seen, and in reality, probably never will.
I have no right thinking of her like that when all sheās offered me is potential friendship, a chance to get clean, and a spare bed for the night. I have no right wanting things that I know I canāt have if Iām going to have any hope of saving my career. Things that Iād likely be too scared to take if they were offered, anyway.
Hurrying through the rest of my shower and avoiding touching myself where my body is aching to be touched, I try to convince myself that everything is fine. Nothing has changed. Addison has been kind to me, and I just want to get to know her better, to connect to someone besides my brother while Iām staying in Mayweather.
All these new thoughts and feelings and attractions Iām experiencing can be ignored. I need to focus on whatās important. Getting my career back to where it was before the kissing scandal, before the Skyler drama.
I canāt afford to lose everything Iāve worked for. Iāve been Americaās Country Sweetheart for so damn long now that Iām not sure I even know how to be anything else.
CHAPTER EIGHT
ADDISON
Thereāsafamouscountrystar in my kitchen cooking me dinner, and I donāt know what to do with that. A famous,gorgeous enough to drive me crazy, country star. I shouldnāt be so affected by her presence, because first of all, Iām not looking to dateorsleep with anyone right now. And second, because it seems like she showed up here with a whole lot of baggage. And I donāt mean all that stuff I almost tripped over in the lobby of the inn.
My life has been drama-free since I got the hell out of my joke of a marriage and all the way out of Chicago. The only drama I have to deal with now is Brendenās, which is usually more entertaining than stressful.
But thereās something about the way Riley fucking Rowland looks at me that makes it impossible to look away from her.
Itās like sheās truly interested in seeingme, despite the glamorous life she must lead and all the other rich celebrities she knows. And it kind of feels like sheās looking for something in me that might be able to help her find something in herself. Thatās the part thatās hardest to ignoreāand also the most dangerous.
The last thing I want is to wind up in a headline as the random small-town woman Riley Rowland was spotted with. And Iām not interested in being anyoneās queer experiment. But she seems so genuinely curious, andmore than a little lost in a way that makes me want to take care of her and see her happy.
And okay, yeah. Did I mention the part where sheās so gorgeous itās driving me crazy?
I canāt believe she found my fucking vibrator in the damn couch. As if my lack of a sex life wasnāt obvious enough, now sheās aware that I sometimes get bored and try to mix it up by fucking myself in the living room. Iām not typically embarrassed by stuff like that. But seeing her small hand with her pink fingernails wrapped around the toy I use to get myself off had half of me wishing the couch would swallow me up completely, and the other half imagining her being the one using it to get me off. Or me taking it from her hand and using it on her. Or both. Preferably both.
Jesus, what have I gotten myself into?
And now, after that unfortunate incident, sheās cooking me dinner. Which is... unexpectedly sweet. Iām so used to being the one cooking for everyone. Family and friends know Iām a chef, so even when Iām not working, people still expect me to cook. Iāve never really minded before, because itās something I truly enjoy doing.
But the fact that she offered, that shewantedto do it for me, is one more thing to add to the list of things about her that have been a pleasant surprise.
We ran to the grocery store together so she could grab the ingredients she needed for teriyaki salmon bowls, and as we were selecting produce, I found myself thinking about how domestic it felt. I also found myself struggling to recall a single time during our marriage that Christy and I ever did that together. Christy hated grocery shopping, and she pretty much hated cooking. Yet she still fought to be the one who kept the restaurant when we divorced.
At the time, I couldnāt understand why, other than simply to spite me. It wasnāt until later that I learned she hired a famous social media influencer to be the new head chef. A woman sheād been cheating on me with.
Anyway, after the nice outing of grocery shopping with Riley, she banished me from my own kitchenāor she might have simply suggested I go relax while she does the work. But Iām realizing now that, even though I told her I wasnāt worried about her messing up my kitchen, I may be more of a control freak in that area than I thought. So Iāve already checked on her twice, and now Iām itching to do it again.
If Iām being honest with myself, though, it may not bestrictlybecause Iām worried about potential kitchen disasters, but also because relaxing is pretty much impossible while knowing this woman is in my house, only a room away from me.
When I wander into the kitchen for the third time, she simply laughs and shakes her head. The smile on her face as she resumes what she was doing makes me wishIwas the songwriter so that I could properly memorialize the beauty of it.
Freddie is weaving himself between her legsāprobably trying to trip her up in hopes sheāll drop some food on the floor for himābut she doesnāt seem bothered by my greedy little menace.
Still, I go over and scoop him up, pressing a kiss to the top of his soft head. āSorry about him.ā
āOh, heās been fine,ā Riley says as she ladles the rice she cooked into two bowls.
āMaybe so far, but youāve got to watch out for him. There isnāt much he wouldnāt do for salmon.ā
With a short laugh, she responds, āSame.ā