Page 92
The story starts in Chapter 92 of "Maybe We Can Find It": āCan I play you a song?ā I ask.āRight now?ā She sounds puzzled.āPlease,ā I tell her.... Donāt miss it!
āCan I play you a song?ā I ask.
āRight now?ā She sounds puzzled.
āPlease,ā I tell her. āI really need you to hear it.ā
She offers me an encouraging smile. āSure, of course.ā
Grabbing my guitar, I bring it back outside to the porch. My confidence grows with the reassuring sound of her following behind me. I could play inside, but weāve spent so much time together on porches this summer, it feels right to be out here.
I take my guitar from the case and sit down on the bench seat with it. I expect Addison to lean against the porch railing, but instead she sits cross-legged on the porch, gazing up at me like she did in her living room the night I first played for her.
Everything thatās happened between us since then flashes through my mind, and I find myself grinning as I begin to pluck the guitar strings.
Iāll probably call this song āSweet Like Peaches,ā but in my mind, Iām going to call it āAddisonās Song.ā I promised Iād play it for her when it was finished, and I finished it in the early hours of this morning out on the innās back porch while she was working in the kitchen. While I was praying that her exās arrival wouldnāt take her away from me and wondering what I could do to make sure that doesnāt happen.
I might not have found all the answers, but Iāve found a place to start. Right here, with telling her how I feel.
So I sing her the song.
And as I sing about the sweetness of being with her, about the comfort and warmth, I realize the full weight of what I feel for her.
Iām not falling for her.
Iāve completely fallen.
Iāve gone through so many relationships in my twentiesāmost of them very short-livedāand Iāve let the failures of those relationships define me.Iāve let it become how the world defines me, at least. But I donāt think thereās anything wrong with trying something and then walking away when it doesnāt work for you. Thatās better than not ever trying at all.
The problem is that Iāve tried and tried with men who never seemed to be trying as hard as me.
Iāve been desperately searching for love like I search for that perfect chord when Iām writing a song.
In a song, I know right away when Iāve found it. But Iāve learned love isnāt always like that. It might not be instant recognition. If you keep playing the chord over and over, though, eventually youāll hear it. And youāll know.This is the one.
Itāsher. The way her eyes are watching me as I play for her, the way sheās smiling. She always looks at me like she sees all of me and she likes what she sees. Itās so simple, but itās everything Iāve been searching for.
I sing the final chorus with more feeling than Iāve ever sang anything, glad I chose to let the song speak for me. But I think Iāll be fine without it now.
Sweet like peaches, like syrup, like blueberry pie
Let me bask in this world
I donāt want to say goodbye
Sweet like strawberries, vanilla, a bottle of cheap wine
Your touch stirred me back to life
Please donāt ever make me say goodbye
My voice breaks somewhere on the last lines, but I keep pouring my heart out to her until the very last note.
Donāt, no, donāt make me say goodbye
Please donāt ever make me say goodbye
And then Iām still. As the absence of the music settles around us, I sit here clutching my guitar, staring at her staring back at me. Until a bird chirps from somewhere in the tree in her front yard, and Addison blinks as if just remembering thatās something her eyes are supposed to do.
She gets to her feet, takes the two steps needed to reach me, and slowly wraps her fingers around the neck of my guitar. I let her take the instrument from me, unworried, because I know sheāll handle it gently. Like she handles me.