Page 133
Chapter 133 of "Our Pretty Darling Psycho" starts here: I want the whole feast.As the sun begins to sink, painting the sky in long... Discover what happens next!
I want the whole feast.
As the sun begins to sink, painting the sky in long ribbons of amber and rose, Riot pulls off at a lookout perched high over miles of untouched wilderness, and we dismount, and I walk to the very edge.
I stand at the lip of the cliff and stare at the horizon, and the scale of it nearly undoes meâforest rolling unbroken to the foot of those blue mountains, a whole world going on and on past the limit of my sight, ancient and indifferent and breathtaking.
And I am overwhelmed, suddenly, achingly, by how much of it I have never seen.
How much of everything was stolen from me while I was busy surviving. An entire planet of wonders, and I spent my best years in a box, and the want of it rises in me sharp and enormous.
Riot comes to stand beside me at the edge, close enough that his warmth bleeds into my side, his woodsmoke scent steady against the cooling air, and he doesnât say anything for a while.
He just looks out at the same impossible distance with me, two monsters at the rim of a world that spent its whole effort trying to make us small, and lets the silence hold the weight of it.Understands without being told. He always has, in his blunt feral wayâthe cage, the hunger for the horizon, the particular grief of a creature built for open spaces and kept in a concrete room. Of all of them, Riot knows best what it is to be wild and confined.
Itâs why the road was his gift to give.
He didnât bring me sightseeing.
He brought me proof that the walls arenât the world.
âIf we ever get out,â I say quietly, not looking at him, my eyes fixed on the dying light over the mountains. âOf this. The tamed little cycle theyâve got us running. If we actually get freeâŚâ I have to breathe before I can finish, because saying a wish out loud has always felt like handing the universe a target. âI want somewhere warm. Somewhere the sun doesnât apologize for itself. I want us to be able to go anywhereâthe whole world, all of itâunder names that canât be traced and faces no oneâs hunting, free to just⌠live. The lives we actually deserve. Not the ones the world handed us for our crimes and our cracks and our imperfections. The ones weâd have built if anyone had ever let us.â
Itâs the most dangerous thing Iâve ever said aloud, more dangerous than any threat, because itâs a hope, and hope is the one thing Iâve never been able to afford.
Every other future I ever let myself want was taken from meâthe empire, the marriage, the freedom Dorian promisedâtorn out by the root the moment I dared to plant it. I learned to stop wanting things that could be stolen, which is to say I learned to stop wanting anything at all.
Here I am at the edge of a cliff describing a life so vivid I can almost smell the salt of it, the warm sea, the unhunted mornings, the four of us somewhere no file can followâand the wanting doesnât feel like grief pre-loading this time. It feels like a map.
Like something we could actually walk toward, if we survive the man circling our borders.
A thing worth living through the danger to reach.
Riot is quiet for a moment, his knife-grey eyes on the same horizon, and when he speaks his voice is rough in that way it gets when he means something all the way down.
âGuess we gotta make it a promise, then.â
And he holds out his pinky.
His pinky.
This enormous tattooed convict, this feral creature carved out of violence and scar tissue, this man who has ended lives with the same hands heâs offering me now, is holding out one crooked little finger like a schoolchild on a playground, utterly serious, and the sheer absurdity of it cracks me wide open.
I burst out laughing.
âA pinky promise. Youâre sealing the great escape of the Holy Trinity and their psychotic queenâwith a pinky promise.â
âMost legally binding contract there is,â he says solemnly. âIronclad. Recognized in every court that matters.â
âName one court that matters.â
âThe playground, Pretty. Highest authority in the land. Donât you know anything?â He waggles the finger at me, unimpressed by my mockery. âYou gonna leave me hanging? Real cold, breaking a manâs heart at a scenic overlook. Very on-brand for you, but cold.â
âYouâre an idiot,â I tell him, still laughing, my chest aching with something that is the exact opposite of grief.
âYour idiot,â he corrects, and waggles the pinky again. âCâmon. Hook it.â
So I do. I reach out and I curl my little finger around his, this ridiculous, sacred, childish vow between two creatures the world wrote off as monsters, and the warmth of it settles somewhere deep and permanent in my chest.
And I knowâthe way I know everything, in the cold sure place beneath all the laughterâthat Riot does not break his word.