(II) “Relax”

18 (II)“Relax”

“By the Composer,” Uva moaned. She blinked rapidly as she put her hand over her mouth. “By the Composer,” she said again.

Shiv’s gut tightened. “What, is it bad? Do you not like it?”

She shook her head, and his heart fell briefly before she continued. “It’s great! Why are you so good at this?” She finally swallowed her food, and as it went down, so did the anxiety bunched up inside Shiv.

He let out a breath. “This is actually what I spent most of my life doing. Well, most of my life after I got a job.”

Cooking > 21

“You said you worked as a chef. I still wasn’t sure if you were joking,” Sister Uva said, leaning back in her chair. She shook her head. “You are a man of many surprises, Shiv.”

He couldn’t help but smile. He was proud of himself. After a long day of fighting people, surviving perils, and getting killed, now he got to do his other favorite thing—and with someone else, no less: cooking.

“How did you discover how to make this?” she asked with a smile. “This is quite creative and surprising.”

“You don’t expect me to be creative and surprising?”

“Well, considering how you fought, I expected you to be blunt and brutal. No offense.”

Shiv shook his head, “None taken. I’m, uh, mostly self-trained.”

“I could see that,” Uva said.

“Did you mean offense when you said that?”

“A little bit.” She had a small smile, and he thought he quite enjoyed that small smile on her face. It made her look pretty.

She took another bite of his unique recipe, and he felt his cooking advance. Shiv thought to himself.

“So, tell me about your past. Tell me about why people don’t like you,” Uva said as she leaned back in her chair. She eyed Shiv—confused and strangely sympathetic. “So far you seem… pleasant.”

“Just pleasant?” Shiv asked.

Uva rolled her eyes. “Don’t push your luck, surfacer.”

Shiv laughed. Then the laugh faded, and Shiv started thinking about his past—his past… Why would someone want to know about that?

Shiv opened his hands and closed them again. “Well, how much do you want to know?”

“As much as you want to tell,” she said. “You can choose to not say anything. You know that, right?”

“Yeah,” Shiv said. “It’s just… All right, where do we start? Let’s begin with when everything went wrong.”

“When everything went wrong?” she echoed.

“Yeah—the day I was born.” Shiv said

Uva huffed. “Do you ever stop jesting, Shiv?”

“No, I’m not joking this time,” Shiv said. “You’re probably not going to like what I tell you.”

She blinked, and he went into detail about what his parents did, about the ritual, about the Omenborn curse. And as he did, he saw that look on her face: the brief flashes of horror, the widening of her eyes. She stopped eating, which disappointed him the most. Then he moved through the early parts of his life: the orphanage, the streets, running into Georges, the Swan-Eating Toad. And then he accelerated, talking about wanting to get a Path—and everything Georges did for him leading up to this moment. He was vague about how he eventually attained his Path, but he did say he earned it just before he got thrown off the edge by the raven-helmed stranger.

“And that’s generally everything,” he said, finishing with a huff.

A few hours had passed. He hadn’t seen much of Weave, but he didn’t feel like going out. Not today. Today was for rest and, apparently, conversation. Uva, however, seemed to have dropped out of the conversation part. She was just staring at him, saying nothing.

Finally, she picked up her fork again, skewered the last bit of cave-biter meat—drenched blue and gold by the sauce—and finished her meal. Slowly, she reached over and patted his arm. Shiv looked at her fingers: how pale they were, how thin and well-maintained her nails were.

“I’m sorry that you grew up around a bunch of dung-eaters,” Uva said simply.

That caught him by surprise. Shiv nearly folded over. “Dung-eaters? Is that what you call people you don’t like down here?”

“Yes, but they’re also a certain kind of bug—a very mean form of cockroach, the size of a small boulder.”

Shiv blinked at her. “Are you serious?”

She nodded. “If you run into one, you need to flip them over. They don’t break easily from the topside, and if you don’t have any magic… Well, Shiv, your Biomancy can probably help you here. You’ll just burst them from the inside. Do be mindful of their larger queen variants, though. Sometimes those have Magical Resistance.”

Shiv thought about that. “Yeah, thanks. I’ll keep that in mind. Do they taste good?”

She stared at him. “Are you serious?”

“I’m genuinely curious.”

“People don’t usually eat roaches, Shiv.”

“Why not?” She stared at him. “Listen, I grew up on the streets, okay?”

“Yes, but most of us don’t,” Uva replied.

Shiv sighed. “Yeah, I guess, but you can’t fault me for being curious. I’m a chef, after all.”

“Yes, but… you know, you can be selectively curious.”

“No,” Shiv said.

“No?” she replied incredulously.

“No. I’ll try everything.”

Her mouth opened, closed, and opened again before she sighed. “You are a very interesting man. A very interesting surfacer.”

Shiv smirked at her. “Is that what you say to all of us?”

“Only the interesting ones,” she said. “And so far, you are one for one—which makes you the best and the worst at the same time. If we discount your badly wounded companion. Who you claim to not know.”

Shiv chuckled. He couldn’t remember enjoying a conversation this much other than with–

Valor said.

Shiv nearly jumped. He’d forgotten about Valor’s existence. The dagger was left on a counter nearby, and Shiv went over.

“Oh, hey, Valor. Sorry, I was, uh…”

Valor coughed.

Uva’s face redded into a blush—and that’s when Shiv realized Umbrals could blush. He, meanwhile, kept his own redness in check as he moved Valor over to the bedroom, offering a quick apology.

As he placed Valor down, he heard the dagger murmur,

Shiv blinked at the dagger. “Uh, yeah, thanks, I guess. We’re just making conversation now, is all.”

Shiv felt a little bad. “We can talk later, especially at night. I have a lot of explaining to do.”

Valor said. Valor promptly started grumbling about the Composer lying to him and everyone using politics against him. Shiv felt bad, but there wasn’t much he could do about that, so he went out and continued his conversation.

As he took his seat across from Uva—her head still in her hands—she said, “I am mortified and embarrassed. I have shamed myself.”

Shiv nodded. “Yeah, well, that happens sometimes. Valor is gone now, though, unless you want me to bring him back.”

“Please don’t,” she said. “I don’t think my image in the eyes of the great Valor Thann will recover.”

“Yeah, about that. You know I don’t really know anything about him, right?”

“And yet you agreed to deliver him, still.”

Shiv shrugged. “It was Nomos’s dying wish.”

Uva looked at Shiv. “This sounds terrible to say but… I heard Sister Nomos was a dung-eater.”

Shiv snorted. That was a common thread. “Yeah, she threatened to breed me before she died. What’s up with that, anyway? Is that for the Weaveresses? They implant little eggs inside people? Sounds messed up.”

Uva sighed. “We usually use bodies for that.”

“Bodies?” Shiv repeated.

“Yes—the deceased. It’s a sacred ritual.”

“It sounds strange. And horrifying,” Shiv said.

“It can be,” Uva finally admitted. “We sometimes use it on prisoners who have committed grievous wrongs.”

Shiv just stared at her. He was beginning to wonder if he’d made a mistake coming to Weave.

“You will understand in time.”

“I guess,” Shiv managed. “Listen, can we talk about something else other than, you know, spider breeding via corpses?”

“You started it,” Uva said. She was right.

“So, uh, how about that Psychomancy?”

She stared at him. “Now, really? Aren’t you tired?”

“I finished cooking for you, didn’t I?”

“You barely ate anything.”

Shiv shrugged. “I’ll eat later. At night. It’s when I usually eat anyway.”

“At night?” she echoed.

“Yeah, when I’m on my own. When I have my own time.”

She nodded slowly, and he felt the first touches of her mana sink into his mind.

Uva asked.

Shiv tensed, but he nodded.

Shiv thought back at her.

Uva narrowed her eyes.

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Shiv’s expression flattened.

Uva said, And he felt a faint trace of something else there—more than words, a building warmth.

Shiv wondered.

Once more, she spoke to him, even as the corner of her lip curled upward.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Shiv replied, unable to hide a smile of his own.

***

After a few hours of mental conversation and some light probing attacks that left blanks in his memory, Shiv wasn’t any closer to obtaining a Psychomancy skill, but he was less afraid of mind magic overall.

“You have very strong resilience,” Uva said. “Unnaturally strong.”

“Unnaturally strong,” Shiv echoed. “Does that mean it’ll be harder to break my mind?”

“Not really.” Uva winced a little bit. “The principles of Psychomancy are similar to Biomancy. Does your Toughness prevent your flesh from betraying itself?”

Shiv looked down. “No.”

“Yes, Shiv, I can feel how strong you are—how ironclad your will. But if I tell it to, it’ll betray you.”

“So the mind weaver I faced—the feral… The reason I’m not broken right now is because they were weak?”

“Unskilled,” Uva corrected.

“How easy would it be for you to just…” Shiv made a gesture, a clenching fist.

“Not particularly hard,” she admitted.

“Well, thanks for not doing that.”

“Thanks for not pushing my brain out of my eye sockets.”

Shiv shook his head at the memory. “We really got off to an ugly start. Yeah, I was just trying to be tough so you wouldn’t blow my mind.”

Uva stared at him. “We all do what we can for ourselves in desperate times.” Her magic receded from his mind. And then he thought back to what Foreshadowing revealed about her: the dagger she had at her home, the death of her mother. He wasn’t the only one with mental scars. Shiv also realized how fortunate it was that he hadn’t thought about that while she was talking to him.

“We should continue this tomorrow. You should finally eat and actually get some rest,” Uva said. “You’ve done a lot of things today. Trust me, in time, people will get used to you. You might be an oddity for now, but if you continue being as you are, we’ll come to accept you. Blackedge…” She frowned. “I don’t know why you want to bother with that place. Ah. Sorry. I sound horrible. Now I’m a dung-eater.”

The Deathless shrugged. “Not all of them are bastards. I owe Georges a lot. And frankly, even though I hate him, I can’t leave Roland Arrow to die.”

“Because you still feel like you owe him your life. Because it was his choice not to kill you. But it was also his choice to ruin your life,” Uva said. There was a little more heat in her voice now.

Shiv looked at her. “You don’t know him like I do, and I barely know him, but he’s a decent man—he’s just not strong enough. I’m going to be strong enough. I’m not going to make the same mistake he did, no matter what.”

She looked at him, and he saw in her eyes a burgeoning appreciation. “It’s getting late,” she said again. “I will see you in the morning. We didn’t get to see much of the city today, but…”

“Well, yeah. At least I got to enjoy some cooking. And company.”

She tapped her empty bowl. “Thank you. For the food. And for the company.”

“It was nice. Not having someone throwing things at me, or screaming at me, or threatening to melt my mind.”

She smirked. “We can still get there someday.” He walked her to the door, and as she prepared to step out, she looked over her shoulder. “Keep yourself safe, Shiv.”

“Yeah, I’m not planning on fighting anyone.”

“You don’t strike me as the person who plans to do something terrible, but I suspect trouble has a way of finding you.”

“I suspect you’re not wrong,” Shiv replied. “Good night, Sister Uva. Oh, I’ll walk you home if you want me to.” She opened her mouth, and he guessed what she was going to say. “I’m not going to push my luck, though.”

At that moment, she offered a genuine smile. “Good night, Shiv.” And she walked away.

He watched her walk for a while, staring at her back and . she sent a thought to him with her magic, He laughed and did as he was asked.

Shiv thought.

As he walked back into his apartment, he took another stroll around, marveling at all this space to himself. Then he made a beeline for his bedroom, because the conversations weren’t over yet.

“Sorry, Valor,” he said, genuinely apologetic. He ran his hand across the dagger and then stopped. It felt demeaning to be stroking Valor Thann like this.

Valor Thann sounded a little miffed, though.

Shiv clenched his teeth. “What?”

“Yeah, uh…” Shiv grimaced. “Sorry.”

“Forty years,” Shiv said.

Valor said.

Shiv felt flattered. “Well, I’m glad I could give you that, at least. Still, how did you end up inside the dagger? You said something about your son.”

Valor didn’t reply immediately, and the silence dragged. Shiv felt like he overstepped. “If you don’t want to talk about it…”

Valor said.

“Lich,” Shiv murmured. A term he knew. “So you could resurrect. You… you could move between bodies?”

Valor continued.

“I suppose we’ll find out, won’t we?”

Valor let out a surprise hum. “

“Yeah, you’re a dagger. How are you going to find out on your own?” he said, as it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Sorry.” Shiv exhaled. “But still, you know what I mean. I’m not going to leave you stuck in the dagger. Besides, the Composer said she’d help.”

“You don’t sound like you trust her very much.”

“Yeah,” Shiv said, letting his breath drag. “You understand why I was apprehensive about letting you know my Path and abilities.”

“And who’s that?” Shiv asked.

Valor said, finishing with a cold note.

Shiv didn’t press that line of dialogue. But now, suddenly, a path took shape for Shiv. His past was open as well. He barely knew his parents; didn’t even remember what they looked like. They were so struck from the record that they might as well not have existed. But now Valor was saying that they couldn’t have achieved the ritual, at least not on their own. Udraal Thann—Valor’s son. If Shiv could meet him…

Shiv didn’t know how he felt about that. He’d cross that bridge when the time came.

“No,” Shiv said. “I just need vitality, and once it gets to a certain amount, a shadowy cocoon forms over me and I pop out.”

Valor said.

“You’re asking me to die more?” Shiv said, deadpan.

Valor replied.

“No,” Shiv said. “I’m fine with it. I just… like busting your chops.”

Valor paused.

“Well, you’re a stone dagger right now,” Shiv said. “If you could have killed me, well, I’d be pretty mad at you, considering you didn’t help me very much in a direct fight earlier—against the weavers.”

A beat followed.

A comfortable silence followed.

Valor said again after a while.

Shiv hummed.

Shiv considered it. “Well, in the immediate future, I’m going to take some time off. I’ll probably go find the Biomancers and that Weaveress who healed me earlier today. But before that, I’ll need to go to a bookstore to get those books you mentioned. And, oh, damn it, I probably need to talk with Sister Uva about money tomorrow. And if they have the books in a language I can read.”

“I might be able to help with the book matter—and most bookstores come with their own translation services,” Valor said. “But that’s not what I’m talking about. I mean, long-term—the Quest.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m definitely doing that,” Shiv said. “A Legendary Skill Evolution is really useful. And, uh, Blackedge does need to be saved.”

He licked his lips, trying to think of how he was going to fight Vicar Sullain. “That seems more like a Roland Arrow tier problem right now,” Shiv said. “Still, I don’t need to fight the vicar directly if I want to save the city. I could do many other things, like perhaps—I don’t know—ambush some of Sullain’s troops, or even go to the capital to inform them about what’s actually happening.” And that is when he thought of Adam Arrow. The Young Lord would be useful in a situation like this. They might not trust Shiv, but they would definitely trust Adam Arrow.

“I’m not fighting for the Republic,” Shiv corrected. “I’m just doing what I think is right. And for the people who’ve done right by me…” Shiv paused. “I don’t think of Blackedge when someone mentions the town. I think of all the bastards there who treated me poorly, but I also think of Georges, who’s the only reason why I probably didn’t end up dead earlier—which might have worked out for me, in retrospect. But I also think of Seymour. I think of the other chefs, I think of Roland Arrow, and how much I want to rub this moment—and everything I did, everything I achieved without him holding me down—in his face.”

Shiv paused briefly. “I guess what I’m saying is a town’s not a living thing, but it’s got living people, and some of them are worth fighting for. That’s the way I see it, at least.”

Valor said.

“I don’t intend to,” Shiv said again. “Now, I think I’m going to check out for the day. I’ll make some dinner first, then I’ll try and figure out how the shower works, and then, well, I’m going to lay down on that bed and see if I can fall asleep.”

“I can place you next to me on the bed. Can you sleep?”

“Yeah, okay. I was kind of thinking that too, but I wanted to be polite.”

“See you in the morning, Valor.”

***

Unfortunately for Shiv, the next problem came only a few seconds into sleep. It was midnight, and he was snoring softly, enjoying the nice, soft fabric of his bedsheets, when there was a heavy knock on the door. Shiv shot up, his heart rate spiking. He patted himself, looking for a knife that wasn’t there.

Shiv thought. He really needed that back. He hoped they didn’t lose it.

He staggered to the door, feeling at the outside using his Biomancy. To his surprise, his field was much larger than before—part of the gains he got from slaying the raven-helmed stranger. It extended approximately ten meters away now, maybe a bit further, and he could feel someone standing right there, just outside his door.

He let out a grunt as he shook his head. “Valor?” he called.

Valor said, his own voice alert.

“Someone’s knocking on the door, Valor,” Shiv said, grabbing the stone dagger. “I might stab them using you.”

“,” Valor said, also sounding annoyed. “

“Yeah, I’ll try doing that,” Shiv groggily agreed. Before he realized what his field sensed. “No, wait. It’s Uva. We’re not stabbing her.”

A long sigh came from Valor.

“What are you talking about?”

“Why?”

As Shiv staggered to the door, he realized that he was shirtless, wearing only his underwear, but he didn’t really care. His Diamond Shell was born of taking injuries without armor, and he didn’t think Uva was going to hurt him. He stared through the eyehole of the door and studied her. There was an urgent look on her face as well.

Slowly, Shiv opened the door, letting it swing wide.

Sister Uva opened her mouth, and then her eyes dropped low, staring at Shiv’s undressed state and unnaturally gleaming torso, but she composed herself quickly. “I need you to come with me.”

Shiv leaned against the door frame, his exhaustion peeling away. He was expecting her to be mad, but now, he was just curious. “See, now who’s pushing their luck?” Shiv said as smoothly as he could.

To his surprise, Valor choked.

Sister Uva blinked before she realized the implications of his words. She rolled her eyes in exasperation. “No, it’s… it’s an emergency matter—one that requires your attention.”

Shiv smirked, unfazed. He pushed off the door frame. “What? What’s wrong?”

“It’s the other surfacer. The one you claim to not know, and do actually know. The Composer said you personally know him. It’s about him.”

“Oh,” Shiv muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “That… that… You remember me telling you about Roland Arrow, right?”

She nodded.

“That’s his son—”

“ Adam Arrow? The Dread Horizon’s child?”

“You remember his name?” Shiv said.

She gave a weary breath. “Well, the Young Lord has taken a Biomancer hostage at the Cradle of Flesh, and he’s demanding to talk with you. He also says that if you don’t come, he will—and I quote—‘start putting Abyssals to the flame.’”

Shiv took a very, very deep breath. “I’m going to kill him,” Shiv said very calmly. “I’m going to kill him with my own two hands.”

“Well, then you best hurry,” Uva said, “because the Weaveresses have assembled several Shadow Cells, and they’re only on standby because the Composer told them to be. She wants you to try diplomacy first. After that, he becomes breeding material.”