(II) Burden

191 (II)Burden

Cripple hesitated.

"Yeah, I'm aware of that," Shiv said. "But me and her, we got history I need to figure out. Things to talk about."

Cripple continued.

"I've been hit by her words before," Shiv said. "I know their weight. I can take them.”

Cripple said.

"Yeah, well, then I guess she doesn't know me well. Just kind of a fucked up thing, considering the fact that she might be my granny."

Cripple's Avatar froze then, and its optics narrowed, zooming in on him.

"Probably because you were too busy dealing with six different streams of bullshit at once," Shiv said. "Udraal told me quite a few things. I want to know how many of those things are true. I want to know why he would make me like this, if that had anything to do with my family history. And I want to know," Shiv gritted his teeth, "I want to know why she never bothered, you know, if she knew about me at all. Why she just left me at Blackedge and, uh, well, everything. My life used to be a miserable nightmare, but now it just doesn’t add up.”

Cripple said softly, The Ascendant sighed.

The Deathless was speechless. "Are you felling serious?"

"It's not uncommon," Adam interjected uncomfortably from within Can Hu’s chassis. "Especially among the nobility. High-Tier Pathbearers often attempt to make sure their offspring are as powerful as possible. Marriages are for the main family branches, but they're also partly for interest. But there are also made to strengthen and expand family lines."

Shiv blinked. “Coupling arrangements?”

Adam continued. “My father is untangled from the mixing branches of the nobility, mainly because we are a new family. But my mother..." The Gate Lord let out an exasperated laugh. "She showed me her family tree once as a child. Or maybe I looked in the book myself. It's hard to remember things that early on in my childhood. Anyway, it was like staring at a messy patch of vines coiled around each other. If I had to describe the nobility, it would be a nest of cousins and half-siblings experiencing near misses with each other, in the best of cases."

"In the best of cases?" Shiv echoed.

Cripple said.

Shiv’s insides recoiled.

"Can't believe I'm about to say this, but I'm quite glad I turned out to be an orphan." Shiv snorted dryly. "Thanks, mom and dad. Really helped me dodge the family tree bullet there."

Cripple said.

Shiv really didn't like the sound of that. "Because... why?"

And suddenly a wave of near-unbearable disgust washed through Shiv. The Deathless groaned.

"Shiv? Shiv, are you alright?" Adam asked.

"Yeah," Shiv said, lying. "I'm just trying not to think about certain things."

"That makes two of us," Adam said.

"I think we could come to an arrangement regarding the prison break," Shiv muttered. "Right now, if you dispatch one of your Avatars to be part of our company, you can maintain a close watch over those who escape with us. We don't intend to bring a war to the people of the capital."

Cripple intoned.

"Yeah, and you might have failed anyway, even if you didn't do anything," Shiv shot back. "Cripple, I know there's a risk here, but I'm going to ask you a few simple questions. First, do you think that we're going to be able to shake the Ascendants and the Avatars if we don't collapse the entire prison? If the only ones that escape are us and the Ascendants come hunting, how long do you think I can stay unnoticed? How escapable is someone with Legendary Awareness?"

Cripple didn't immediately respond to that, and Shiv knew the machine god lacked a good answer. "Alright, so let's say I do manage to hide from them for a while. What then? How long do you think I can avoid Udraal? And do you think you can stop Udraal from destroying the prison anyway? Does Udraal Thann strike you as someone who only has one plan?"

Cripple said,

"Beaten? Or temporarily inconvenienced?" Adam asked.

Cripple didn’t answer.

Shiv began to circle the Ascendant. "I don't know much about Udraal. I barely know his skills and have no clue about his history. But I can tell you that he has plenty of bodies to spend. He's stupidly powerful, and some of that magic he's using," Shiv gestured at the scars lining the Avatar's body, "is like nothing I've seen before. Stop hesitating and decide on something. You don't want the prisoners to spill out into the capital and wreak havoc? Fine, we're on the same page. We're going to warn you when we drop the mana core, and you can be prepared to intercept and recapture as many of them as you can. Alternatively, you say no. We try to do this anyway because we have to do it. But there is no way we're staying inside this place. And we're probably going to be entirely reliant on Udraal's help in that situation. We don't want that. Not you, not me. But I will take my chances with Udraal if it means breaking out from this pit."

Shiv stopped. He glared at the back of Cripple's head. The Avatar hadn't turned to look at him at all, but Shiv could tell the Ascendant was thinking. "This isn't me forcing you to do anything. This is me cutting you in. It's the best offer you'll get today. Now, if you don't do this, I'm going to tell you what happens. Udraal will exert whatever influence he can over us. Adam and I are going to resist. But guess what? I don't think our odds are very good. He's a little too powerful for us to handle right now. He's got schemes within schemes. Hell, he says he has worlds under his control."

the Ascendant replied, its voice barely a whisper.

Shiv and Adam shared a look, and the Deathless clenched his fist. "That's why we need you, Cripple. You specifically. You want to meet the Starhawk and not have Udraal pull off whatever fuck-fuck game he's about to play? Well, then you need to be there. You need to be there with the only other Ascendant who is on the outside of this thing. The rest of them don't care. They are only playing for their own self-interest. We are past the point of trust now, and you know it. I'm putting up with you. Now, I'm going to need you to put up with me, or we all go down the worst path. And let me tell you, I don't see a very happy outcome that way."

Silver Tongue 38 > 39

Cripple didn't immediately reply, but Whisper stepped forward. The stealthy orc's midnight cloak billowed as if an invisible wind was passing along the fabric. "May I speak?"

Shiv narrowed his eyes at Whisper. He wondered what game the orc was playing now, but he gestured, allowing it.

"Cripple the Strongest. The Challenger respected you the most among all the Ascendants."

Cripple gave a bitter laugh.

Whisper shook his head. "He was only lying with the Starhawk. He meant it truthfully when he spoke to you."

Cripple said flatly.

The orc paused deliberately and stared at Cripple. "I want you to know that what I say next is not a threat. I want you also to know that the Challenger is immensely disappointed in you."

Cripple's posture changed. The Avatar clenched its fist, and incandescence billowed out from its body in crushing waves. Shiv came alert as the whisper of violence graced his instincts. Kura and Gone were equally incensed. Adam shaped a new arrow, and the orcs bared their teeth.

Cripple said, and there was no warmth in the automaton's voice anymore.

"The Challenger knows about Kathereine. He knows about what she has over you and why you are so wary. But we can see you freed. We know where the contract is, and we know where Amira is as well."

A twitch passed through the Avatar's body. Adam looked well and truly lost. he asked over their Psychomantic link.

The Deathless shrugged.

The incandescent mana radiating out from the Avatar began to intensify. A series of waves crashed against Shiv's Shapeless Tides, and he braced himself for an unwanted brawl against the Ascendant. This wasn't the ideal outcome, but Adam had planned for this. The teleportation anchor connected to this place had been disassembled. Five was allowed to tap into the mithril supports directly, and with the few automaton wardens that Can Hu had subverted, the wolf-man could flood the insides of the cube with Dimensionality and draw everyone across to a new safe point. However, that required Shiv, Adam, Kura, Gone, and Candles to contain the Avatar for the duration.

Cripple said, his voice heavy with anger and disbelief.

Whisper, meanwhile, never lost his smile. "She still writes to you every month. You get letters from Elysium Field, and you've tried to find her yourself several times. You weren't careful enough during your last attempt, and the letter was delayed for a month. Kathereine handed it to you personally within your domain."

And suddenly all the fight went out of Cripple. It sagged, more like a weary man than a war-wounded machine.

"The Challenger also wants you to know that it is a mistake you've made," Whisper continued. The smile died on the orc's face, and a hint of scorn leaked through. Shiv realized that Whisper hated Cripple, for whatever reason, he couldn't tell. But that expression, that glare in the orc's eyes, was unmistakable. "The Challenger says that you should have finished her off yourself if you wished to give her any mercy. That gods cannot have weak followers, and gods cannot have mortals as kin."

"And is he wrong?" Whisper shot back. "Are you not a monster?"

Whisper interrupted the Ascendant. "Yes, you did it for the Republic. Justification or truth, it doesn't matter. Even if you did do it for the Republic, does that make it right? Does that make it proper? Does bombing a place and butchering all the people who live there so that your people could have more room to expand constitute nobility? Does capturing people, cutting them apart, and experimenting on them make you good just because the ones you victimized were vile themselves? Come, now, Ascendant."

Psycho-Cartography:

The other orcs began to grunt and mutter words of pity under their breath. "It doesn't know who it is," Mortar muttered, shaking his head. He gestured at Cripple. "You see this? This is what happens if you end up going between. You're not willing to stop being mortal, to stop being tethered to whatever ethics or weakness you obey. And you're not willing to commit to godhood despite using its power to break so many. No way out. Just an eternal trap."

Shiv realized the orcs were trying to educate him. They thought this was a poignant moment. And despite everything, he agreed. He didn't think the orcs were right about ethics, not even close. But Cripple was being torn, torn in so many directions. It wanted to work with Shiv, but it still hoped to reconcile with the other Ascendants. It wanted to meet with the Starhawk, but Kathereine held it in her clutches somehow.

Cripple wanted to aid Shiv, but it wasn't willing to go far enough. And bit by bit, the sheer stress Cripple was under made itself known. The Ascendants were godlike in power, but they were not godly in terms of wisdom. And that alarmed Shiv. Even the Composer, humane and gentle though she was, was not so wise. There were points of failure with her. There were things beyond her notice, beyond her power.

And then there was the Challenger.

The Challenger was a true monster, but he committed to it. He embraced it. He didn't let it be a liability. The Challenger was horrifically wise. And that was another point of nuance to being a Pathbearer.

Psycho-Cartography:

Psycho-Cartography 80 > 81

By now, Whisper had fallen silent, but his eyes were locked on Shiv rather than Cripple. The leader realized what his orc was trying to do, and he stepped in.

"Cripple," Shiv said, "I don't know what they're saying. I don't know what my orcs blindsided you with. But even if you don't trust them, I hope you can trust me. I came to you, didn't I? I'm here begging for your help. But I think I've come to another arrangement. Whatever Kathereine has on you, I think I can break it. I will to break it and set you free. And I'm willing to put a skill of mine on the line if you are."

That made Cripple turn. It stared at Shiv, and the Deathless waited for the Ascendant to speak. When no words came, he saw the Avatar's hand shaking.

Cripple started, its voice choked, Cripple trailed off.

"No," Shiv said. "In fact, the thought of meeting makes me wanna go another round with the Tarrasque alone. Feels like I'm falling all the time. But I'm not gonna let discomfort turn me away from what I have to do. This is a sooner-or-later thing, not a hope-and-run-away thing."

Cripple looked away from Shiv then. The suddenness of its aversion caught the Deathless's notice.

Psycho-Cartography

While Psycho-Cartography had one epiphany, Shiv had another.

Philosophy 26 > 27

Shiv thought about Adam, Uva, and Valor, and now he thought about everyone around him. The longer you lived, the more ways you could be wounded.

Cripple finally said. Cripple's words died again. It wanted to say something else. it suddenly asked. A faint whisper of hope snaked its way into Cripple’s voice.

Shiv cocked his head. "Save Amira? Whoever she is? Yeah, maybe. I need details, though. I need to know what Kathereine has on her, and whatever the hell's going on between the two of you."

Shiv frowned. "Okay, so, what, she owns you, technically?"

Tequila almost started gagging. Shiv shot the orc a glare, but all that made Tequila do was turn away.

Cripple said. It wasn't a statement uttered by a determined Pathbearer, but one who was tired.

Shiv considered Cripple's statement. "So that you can preserve your cover among the other Ascendants? I… Cripple, I don't think this thing is going to last."

Cripple said.

Shiv nodded. "So, what? You lure Veronica out by bringing me in?"

"Oh, I have a strategy of escape," Shiv interjected. "You leave that to me. But what about Adam's weapon and the mana core?"

"Requisitioned?" Adam spat aloud. "What do you mean? It's my armor! You're just going to let someone else take it?"

Cripple paused.

Shiv felt his heart go cold. Ice flowed through his veins. "Rebis," Shiv said. "You recaptured him."

Cripple sighed.

Five sniffled. "Perhaps not exactly. His mind, it is still split in two, is it not?"

Cripple regarded the wolf-man.

"If his mind is split in two, then so are his skills. That's the entire point of Rebis. He has two Paths, two different souls meshed together, not just a single one. That's why Enoch wanted him, because of his incomplete ritual of soul-severing, is it not?" Cripple stayed quiet, so Five continued. "His mantling is likely incomplete as well. I know Enoch is partially damaged, and Rebis is mutilated at the soul. His merging has not concluded. If that's the case, then only part of him has been anchored to the Ascendant."

"And if we remove that part, won't that kill Rebis?" Shiv said.

"Perhaps," Five replied with far too much levity, "but if it's done right, maybe I can preserve some of his brain function. Keep him alive to some extent. Besides, I don't think our dear friend would like to live life as an enduring thrall to the one that cut him open and fused him back together as if some kind of macabre art project."

Shiv didn't like it, but he also didn't much like the idea of letting Enoch have a slave for an Avatar. "Alright," Shiv said. "Finish him off if it comes to it. Would be a mercy for him—better than being used as a soul-puppet. If we can free him, though..."

"Of course," Five answered. "Of course I will."

"So, does he have my armor yet or not?" Adam asked.

Cripple replied,

Shiv and Adam shared a look. "And can you get us into the cube," Adam began, "without suffering extreme attrition or bloodshed? I don't know if you've noticed, but what we have here isn't exactly an army."

Cripple said.

Adam sighed. "Alright, then I guess we're going to do the soul detonation method then.”

"I'll start making golems," Shiv grunted.

Cripple added.

"What does that mean?" Adam snapped, tired of the Ascendant's prevarications.

And both Shiv and Adam picked up what the Ascendant was putting down.

Cripple said.