Chapter 190: What Matters in The End.

I gently placed my palms atop the bound Larah and Ragnar’s heads. I poured into them the thoughts, instincts, and emotions of a menace. My interpretation of it, ultimately, no matter how many years I’d had to know this curse.“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!”

“Let us go!”

“I’ll tear your face off!”

“It’ll be fine, trust me.”

“You bitch!”

“If you don’t do it this instant, then you’ll be sorry!”

“I’ve called the angels to strike this place!”

The two were predictably overwhelmed. Once again, I endeavored to not take any of the insults they threw my way personally. I, more than anyone, knew what it was like. I intimately understood the burden and the stress I was putting their minds under.

“SHUT UP!” I suddenly shouted. It was the first lesson. They paused for just a micro-second, but maybe that meant there was hope yet. There would be no stopping the chaos of their thoughts. It would be a constant part of the experience if we did succeed in turning them into imps. They could only control their actions, and find ways to remain calm and possibly even be happy, no matter how terrible their mental state might otherwise be.

“I’m out. I’m out! I’m done!” Larah cried. “Just let me go. I don’t want to do this anymore. I quit! Being a demon is terrible!”

I furrowed my brows, but did as she asked, and even removed my palm and magic off Ragnar’s head too.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!” the ogre man screamed as he strained to break his bindings, but those chains were basically the tendrils of Pandemonium. Their grip was only as strong as a weak Level 40 creature, but it was enough to hold my silver-ranked pupils. The chains could even self-regenerate; slowly, by relying on Pandemonium’s bio-inorganic processes; quickly, through the use of blood magic; or even faster, just by shifting material around its strangely structured body.

“Hey. Hey! I said I quit! Untie me now!”

I kept the smirk off my lips, and did just as Larah had asked.

Sure enough, she lunged for me the moment she got free. Her nails barely left a mark, meanwhile the hook placed over her mana-fount arm actually managed to draw blood, but the wound on my arm was superficial. I pushed her back into her chair, and Pandemonium’s chains wrapped around her again.

The woman glared at me with slowly fading anger.

Finally, she calmed.

“W…what?”

The chains once again went slack.

“You said you don’t want to be a demon anymore. So I guess this is goodbye. Come by to hang out, though! Don’t be a stranger!”

“Huh? Uh…. NO! No, that was… I don’t know what came over me… But no! I would never! Please!”

My infuriatingly cheerful smile slacked. It was as I expected. “Calm down. I was just checking. I had a feeling you said that in order to get me to drop my guard, so that you can then ambush me.”

“What…? That’s stupid. It would never work!”

I showed her the blood on my arm. I’d worn one of my more stylish, but less functional armor dresses today, and Larah here managed to find a gap.

“You took that willingly! And the wound’s already closed!”

“That’s true,” I admitted. “Just remember that if you ever want out and it isn’t a lie, then I’ll be perfectly fine with letting you go.”

“Never,” she promised.

“Keep the option open,” I countered.

The chains around Ragnar loosened as well, and he stood up, staring at his shaking arms.

“How about you?” I asked. I wasn’t even sure if I was using the right dosage of menace-flavored magic on their minds. But, like before, I was operating under the idea that it was better to use more than less. The former would leave them overprepared and ready for the demon life, while the latter would have them underprepared and dead.

“I’m… fine,” Ragnar answered. “Or maybe not. I’m just trying to see if there’s any influence left on me.”

“It would never leave once you become an imp.”

“I know that,” he snapped, then thought better of it. “That’s why I want to have a firm idea of who I am and who I’m not. So that I can assert myself when the time comes.”

I raised a brow. A bit different than my approach, but… I did not hate at all the idea of them finding their own way. Now was very demon-like.

“Alright. Keep at it.” I punched his arm lightly, and tapped on Larah’s shoulder. “That’s the way. Keep figuring things out on your own.”

I hoped I was correct about that.

I sat deep in the heart of Pandemonium. I felt its power and my own. Our connection allowed me to understand my friend’s massive body, and the picture painted in my mind grew more vivid as I sank deeper into my meditation. It was similar to my heightened ability to feel mana, or even that brief moment of partial omniscience I once experienced the day that Astro City fell. Through this practice, I might one day be able to expand my senses on command. It was already possible today, if still to a very weak level.

My focus turned to the very connection between me and Pandemonium. It was more… solid here, where we existed in the same place, than anywhere else in the world. There was a bridge between our souls that nourished us both and strengthened our bodies, no matter how big or small. Just like my curse mana or my blood magic, it enhanced my body’s capability for violence, if not to the same extent.

But what if it could be?

What if I could draw more power from Pandemonium?

What if I could offer it more power in return?

What if our resonance could strengthen, leading to more power for the both of us without any cost?

I sank deeper into my meditation to see if more power truly existed down this path.

“Hey, Haell. So you know how me and Elfrafim have started kind of dating, right?” Berry asked one day while I dangled over a treetop, reading a book.

“What? Come to brag?” I smirked.

“No!” she hesitated. “Well, a little.”

I laughed. “Go ahead then! Brag!”

She paced all over the black grass. “...It’s great! But complicated. But now, I’ve also started seeing Cole. He’s a crustecar like me, and he works as one of your guards.”

“My guards?” I questioned.

“I mean a guard in the city. Which is city, right, Demon Queen?”

I shrugged. “Fair enough. So. Come to brag about that too?” I dropped from the branches, and landed already lounging.

“That’s not the point… Now I got 2 partners, and I wanted some advice!”

I thought about that for a moment. It was pretty normal for the crustecars. Not that I would’ve had any problem with it either way. She could do what she wanted.

“Your math is correct,” I decided after a long thinking pose.

She rolled her eyestalks at me. “Haell, I’m serious! I’ve never done this before! Any of it! I don’t know what I’m doing! Helpppp meeeee.”

I looked at her, and then smiled warmly. My body sprung up, and I sat right in front of her, almost bouncing. “Alright! Here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna go get some monsters–leave the hunt to me–and then we’ll butcher them right. Afterwards, I’ll take the innards, the entrails, and everything, and stuff it into their rooms! Oh and don’t forget to give them a lot of bowls for whatever it is they’re gonna do with that!”

“What!?” Berry’s legs bent, and she tilted comically to one side. “That’s not what I asked at all!”

I cackled. “Well, you came to me for help with this. So I’m giving the relationship advice that works best for me! Trust me, it’ll go well.”

“...Maybe this was a mistake,” she joked.

“Maybe it is,” I said, half-serious. “Why even ask me? Have you not asked your parents?” The three of them had moved here to Arisen City.

“Well, I did! But while I’m dating Elfrafim and Cole, they aren’t dating each other! And my parents find it strange. It’s always one unit or family with us. The crustecars, I mean. But with my relationships… It’s more… I don’t know. Complicated. And I think you mentioned doing stuff like that back on Earth…”

“Ahh. I think you misunderstood something.”

“Seems that way.” She sagged. “So, what did I miss?”

“Uh, don’t feel bad.” I patted her on the carapace. “There relationships like that back on Earth, that’s true. But it was certainly not the norm. I’d wager it’s more common here, even. But more to the point, I’ve only ever been in one relationship remotely like yours.”

“Eh? Really? I thought you had like… many partners.”

I rolled my evil eyes. “Yes. For sex. And I don’t think that’s what you’re asking. if it is, in which case I’ve got a bunch of stuff to recommend.”

“Uh. No thank you. Maybe later…”

I cackled, and Berry wiggled in embarassment. Her arms remained stumps, as she did not want a goblin prosthetic for her hands.

I poked some more fun at her, until I clarified, “Romance is already complicated enough as it is. It was a fucking headache when I tried to do more. I just thought back then that it’d be what’s right for me, because it runs so counter to everything I’ve been taught.”

“Oh…”

“That being said, I did have friends who were into complex polycules or open relationships, so I can give you some advice if you don’t have anyone else to talk to.”

“I think I do, but I wanna hear about the wisdom of Earth anyway!”

I chuckled as Pandemonium prepared some proper chairs that grew right underneath us. “I don’t know how much of that we had back then, but I’ll try.”

Those old dusty memories were so much clearer, now that I had my memory core.

I remembered the friends I’d made in another life, as I shared more of those experiences with the friend I had now.

I died for those fuckers. I hoped they lived a good life.

“You wanted to talk?” I asked Grandpa as I entered his room and saw him lounging on his massive half-open healing pod filled with blood.

“Yes.” He turned his head and looked at me kindly. “I’ll… I’ll oversee more of your training tomorrow. But I’m just feeling so… very weak today.”

“Oh. Well, that’s not a problem! You could’ve just informed Pandemonium again. I really do appreciate you helping me out when I know that you’re… you know, growing… a little easier to tire?”

“Weaker. Older,” he corrected. Grandpa patted the pod’s membrane all around him. “Even this thing cannot keep it at bay forever.”

I opened my mouth, but closed it. I remembered Luine’s words back at her last birthday party. She would not make it to immortality. My parents wouldn’t. For all his boasts… Grandpa wouldn’t either. Not like this. There was less hope for him than anyone else at this point.

He coughed. “That’s why, Haell. I wanted to make a request.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“I’ll train you for as long as I’m able. But when the time comes… I shall rest here for however long it takes. I will gather my strength for one last glorious final battle!” He pumped his fist high into the air, but the energy soon left him, and my powerful grandfather who had seemed invincible for so much of my life sagged.

My hearts sank, but I also pumped my fist and gave a warcry of my own. “YEAH!!! Who do you want to fight last!? How–” I choked up, but kept going, “HOW SHALL THE LEGEND OF GOLEX THE HERO END!!?!??”

Grandpa smiled, so very warmly. “The angels.”

My own hearts stirred, for the promised hunt. “A worthy foe! The most deserving of death!”

“My gods, my rulers, my conquerors!”

“If you’ll die anyway, then at least land one punch!”

“YEAH! I’ve wanted to slog those prissy fucks since the empire’s creation!”

“So why didn’t you?” I had to ask. As he drew ever closer to the end.

“Because I am less brave than you. Less willing to die. Less decisive. I could not fully leave behind a friend, no matter how far she’d fallen. She is the last of my original party. The Heroes.”

That dredged up some terrible memories, but I continued to listen. I was fine now. Grandpa was right about me being willing to slay a friend if they betrayed me hard enough. But that wouldn’t stop me from making new ones any longer. If I had to kill them in the future, then so be it. I would enjoy the friendship until then. Just as I enjoyed our time as The Harvesters.

“I was…” Grandpa searched for the right words. “Less moral.”

I snorted. But he wasn’t joking.

“I’m a conqueror too, Haell. While I hated my lords, I continued to conquer for them because it was all I knew. All I cared to know. But Your nature is more violent than my own, and yet you found it in you to reject their call.”

I shrugged. “It is precisely through violence that I rejected all they are.”

Grandpa chuckled. “Fair enough. Perhaps , if not necessarily . What you do have in abundance is conviction. And for that and many other things, I am very proud of you, Haell. Haell Zharignan. Demon Queen Haell Zharignan. You’ve been the best granddaughter ever.”

“That’s true,” I agreed.

Grandpa laughed harder. “So, when you come to hunt them. Will you take me with you? Please?”

I smiled, but the sadness remained clear in my expression. “Sure, Grandpa. The problem being that I don’t actually know when and where I’ll encounter them. But I’m sure I’ll be the one to initiate the hunt eventually. So you better survive until then!”

My grandfather mirrored my smile. “Of course, Haell. I’m certain that you, of anyone, could fulfill that promise. So I will not have my eternal rest until I fulfill mine too.”

“Hell yeah!”

I proceeded to include him in our anti-angel training while he could still participate.

Time passed meaninglessly. I continued to hold the same piece of rock in my hand. It was covered by my curse mana, and slowly chipping away. Until finally, suddenly, the process sped up by several magnitudes. The rock eroded into dust in mere seconds. I had succeeded.

Suddenly, things started to matter again. A pebble was left in my hand, still solid. My focus broke, but my enthusiasm remained. That was the first physical application of my nihilistic magic ever! I’d been able to use it as a mental effect for a long time, of course, but I just knew that wasn’t the end of it. It could affect reality in a different way, and I had just found how!

I dove through my memory core, and repeated the same process with that as a guide, until the pebble in my hand too returned to dust. Pandemonium then gave me a test subject rabbit, and sure enough, its fur began to be destroyed, followed by pieces of its skin.

Blood began to trickle, and then gush. The animal struggled in my grasp. It would’ve already been torn from the inside out had I used any typical sort of curse. Nihilistic Magic was certainly far less devastating to organics than its other cursed counterparts. But its advantage rested in how equally devastating it could be against everything else. Be they alive or dead, organic or inorganic. Not a single thing mattered. Therefore, everything might as well be nothing.

I climbed up the mountain, from the bottom to the top. At the peak I found exactly the creature I was looking for. The endrasen. The bird that could fly but preferred earth magic. I did not approach it from the air this time because I knew it would be futile. Even with my recent power-ups, I’d be lucky to come out even.

“SCKREEEEE!!!” the bird screeched in response, as if it knew this. But I only kept calmly walking forward, until the monster was forced to commit to the fight.

The endrasen took flight, and sure enough, within seconds, it came back down like a crashing meteor.

I opened my own wings, and jumped. I met it in the air and aimed for the wings, but the bird shifted and struck at me with its sharp talons. I swung Devilcalibur in response, the confluence of wrath in effect, but I was only able to mitigate the damage done to myself as I was still met by a crushing force and sent streaking to the ground.

I made a small crater, which I quickly rushed out of before the Endrasen could right itself and land. A field of spikes erupted from the ground, and I evaded or otherwise thwarted most of them with practiced movements. I ran a good distance away, until the Endrasen had taken flight once again, and had begun to drop like a meteor like before.

Resentment awoke.

I leapt to my prey, now faster and stronger and for slaughter. The endrasen shifted mid-drop, but it could not adjust itself as fully as before, which allowed me to parry its talons at a better angle and have the clash end in a draw!

We bounced off each other with a shaking numbness to our limbs, though mine healed quicker. We hovered there for a moment, and I dropped back down before the bird could come flying straight for me. Even with the monster was still able to match me in our last exchange. It went to show how Arx’s burst speed was still significantly superior to my own, as he was able to catch one of the Endrasen’s wings mid-drop, even with how severely limited his maneuverability was once in the air.

Our fight continued. I and the Endrasen clashed in the same way many more times, but I was not able to get its wings. It chose to take more damage to its talons than let that happen, which was definitely the right choice. The limbs bled, but they were still perfectly usable,

My enemy did not give up. I did not either, when victory was yet so possible. The endrasen did make my life harder, as it too learned during the battle, and got better at parrying my strikes. I shot out my magic, but the Level 80 monster endured. I knew the massive bird would not retreat, because its eggs were right there on the mountainpeak. I could probably win if I targeted them… but I decided that I didn’t want to. Not unless my life depended on it. I’d rather just flee and come back again.

Finally, one of its taloned fingers broke to the point of inusability. Another followed, then another. Its maneuvers had started to lag just a little, thanks to my constant magical harassment. It would not normally be enough to turn the tables, but coupled with a kick that came too late, I finally managed to get one of its wings.

The endrasen screeched in pain and… sorrow, as it plummeted to the ground with my help. I stayed above it, and continued to bombard the beast with magic. My curse and hellfire reserves were still at half, especially as I’d mildly paced myself. Now it was time to fully unleash all that I had!

I landed beside the creature and It screamed in my face, and then tried to bite off my entire head with its beak, but I swatted it away with a resounding squelch and a crack. The earth split and closed and quaked and spiked all around us, but I managed to weather the chaos through my growing sense for mana, though it did hold me off.

I smashed Devilcalibur through the many spikes just coming out of the ground or those in my way, and they .

My new nihilistic magic helped in this task, but only a little. The element new, and I wasn't yet that proficient at it. It was also to suddenly switch my thoughts over to nihilism. It was a weird sort of curse to begin with, out of step with most of its contemporaries.

Other curses for a lot. They wished for death. For destruction. For betrayal. For violation.

Nihilism cared not for anything.

And in caring for nothing, it could erode

The endrasen screeched as it created a new wall of spikes to protect itself with. I smashed through all these obstacles, and my unending tide of projectiles streaked through the gap. From curses of different types, to hellfire that sought only to inflict the worst burning pain imaginable. The cataclysm that rumbled across the entire mountain finally, gradually came to a halt. The endrasen had just used the last vestiges of its magic.

Still, the creature stood. On broken legs, it lunged. With missing talons, it kicked. I weathered the assault and dodged most of it. The confluence of my wrath erupted right inside my foe and made a mess of its organs. It didn’t even take that many hits until this adversary that had long stumped me finally breathed its last.

Funny thing about birds. For all that they ruled the skies, they could rarely ever take all that much punishment. Whereas destruction alone was my true calling.