Chapter 61.5

The laughter of children, the warm, savory smell of cooked meat, and the gentle murmur of conversation had long ago vanished from inside Tadghán’s cottage. Dinner had been absolutely delicious and much needed after the harrowing ritual that had temporarily robbed Amara of her demonic identity. Every fiber of Vee’s being wanted to reach out, to do something to help Amara through this awkward experience, but she was at a complete loss as to what help she could offer.The process had drained much of Amara’s strength, although Vee wondered if part of that was simply the stress of their previous journey finally catching up with Amara now that her demonic magic wasn’t keeping her in prime condition. In either case, the consensus between everyone present was that the three of them needed to rest and recuperate before attempting the return journey.

Thankfully, Saoirse had more than enough food to go around. Vee was ecstatic to have something to eat other than their packed rations, and while Amara seemed somewhat excited as well, Vee swore that her now-human love seemed somewhat distracted during their dinner. She made sure never to press Amara about this, and instead did her best to keep conversation flowing and encourage joviality in this rare break between extended hiking trips.

After dinner, Vee and Amara had retreated to the loft above the living room. Tadghán and Saoirse apparently treated this space as a guest room, and it had been appropriately furnished with piles of thick blankets and soft pillows. Vee even found several clumps of coarse fur and briefly wondered if they sometimes housed other werewolves.

Instead of fixating on that thought, however, Vee laid down and eagerly welcomed Amara into her arms. The two of them fit together perfectly, as they always did, though the lack of warmth emanated from Amara was certainly strange. It was also unusual seeing her in such unusual clothes. After losing her powers in the ritual, Amara’s clothes had vanished entirely, as they were simply extensions of her magic. Now, Amara wore one of Saoirse’s spare outfits, a combination of fur, leather, and cloth that made her look as if she were preparing to attend a Renaissance Festival. They laid in relative silence for a while, neither attempting to get to sleep, before Vee finally gathered the strength to speak up.

“How do you feel?” she asked quietly.

Amara wrapped her arms tightly around Vee’s midriff, then rested her head against Vee’s shoulder before responding. “It’s… hard to describe. Did your middle school ever bring in those groups to try and convince kids not to drink?”

“Like, alcohol awareness stuff? I think I remember a few weeks in Health class where we talked about drinking, but that was about it.”

“Well, at my school, they tried to make it a little more of an interactive event for some reason,” Amara said, a faint chuckle escaping her as she recalled the event. “One of their demonstrations involved a series of props to make you feel like you were drunk, which, in retrospect, felt nothing like actually being drunk. They made kids wear thick, noise-cancelling headphones, weird glasses that fogged up your vision, then they pinched your nose and made us breathe through a straw.”

“A straw? Isn’t that more of a smoking thing to demonstrate he reduced lung capacity?”

Amara shrugged. “Hey, I don’t know. That’s what they did. Anyways, I bring it up because I kinda feel like that right now. Everything is so quiet. I can’t feel the vibrations of the magic, the air, the river, nothing. My vision is dulled, I can’t see as far, and all the colors are muted. Even just moving around feels weird. I’m used to hiding my tail and my wings, but even when I do, I still feel them. Now, they’re just gone. Climbing up the ladder to get to this loft wasn’t exactly difficult, but it wasn’t effortless. It’s just… I dunno, it’s weird. I’m trying to look on the bright side, to tell myself that this is a fun novelty and I should enjoy it while it lasts. Everything goes back to normal once we cure Nick, right? But, even then… it’s just uncomfortable to feel cut off from this part of me that I love so much.”

Vee leaned closer and kissed Amara on the forehead. “I know it sucks, love, but we’re in this together. I won’t let anything happen to you!”

Looking up, Amara kissed Vee back before settling into their cuddle once more. “Is this what it’s been like for you? Like, not having your powers and stuff.”

“Based on how you’ve described it, I wouldn’t say so. It’s like Saoirse said, I haven’t internalized my angelic qualities the same way you’ve integrated with your demonic side.” Vee laced her fingers between Amara’s, then continued. “I’ve always been pretty weak, as far as angels go.”

“I remember you mentioning that in Purgatory.”

“And, don’t get me wrong, there are definitely a few similarities. This whole hike through The Wilds has been more tiring than I expected, and I hate feeling a little more winded than usual, but it’s not like I’ve had all my senses dulled the way you have. I always had to invoke Enochian magic to enhance my senses, which meant their slightly dulled, more human qualities were always my norm.”

The conversation paused for a few minutes, both girls idly holding hands and occasionally caressing each other as they lost themselves to their thoughts.

“At least Tadghán will be with us. We’ll just make him do most of the heavy lifting now that you’re human,” Vee said with a chuckle. “Hopefully our journey back is just as peaceful as the journey here. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting, but I’m certainly glad we haven’t gotten into any fights.”

“I’ll bet there’s some cool stuff to fight here,” Amara muttered.

“Oh hush, you. I know you love fighting but we can’t just roam around the jungle looking for random animals to attack.”

“I would never!” Amara protested. “Just, you know, if happened to attack us, I wouldn’t be against chasing them away! At least, on the way here. Now that I’m human, I desperately want to avoid anything like that on the way back.”

“You? Avoiding a fight? Quick, Amara, what’s for dinner tonight?”

“Oh, shut up!” Amara playfully slapped Vee’s arm. “And it’s hand-seared chicken, don’t even start with me.”

“Next you’ll be saying you’re not constantly thinking about sex,” Vee said, trying to hold back her laughter.

Amara pulled away from Vee, her eyebrows furrowed as if in acceptance of a dare, and she straddled Vee’s lap. “For your information, Vee, my sex drive is lower, not gone entirely. In fact, since we’re all alone up here, and this is the first time we’ve been inside in fucking forever…”

“What, now?” Vee whispered back. "Tadghán and his family are right below us!”

“C’mon, we would make a game over how quiet we could be!” Amara leaned closer and kissed Vee’s neck, her excitement obvious.

“I…” Vee stammered, the weight of their current journey reminding her of the importance of getting a good night’s sleep. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Amara. I’m still exhausted from all the hiking, and you just had all your powers taken away. Plus, I don’t know, maybe it’ll be nice knowing that we don’t have to tonight.”

Amara flinched in surprise as she pulled away. “Wait, have to? Is that what you—”

“No, shit, that’s not what I meant, Amara,” Vee stammered. “I love you, more than anything, and I always will. I’ve never looked at your libido as a burden, and sex with you is always amazing. I’m just so stressed out about my powers going away, and I just know if I can figure this out, I’ll be able to keep up with you again.”

“Right, sorry, I didn’t mean to… y’know, sound accusatory or whatever.” After an awkward glance between them, Amara nodded slowly and leaned in for another kiss. She slid off Vee’s lap, then cuddled into her shoulder again as she pulled a blanket back over them both. “Huh.”

“What’s up?” Vee asked.

“You said the whole ‘mismatched libido’ thing is because of your powers going away?”

“I mean, it has to be, right? What other explanation is there?”

“Didn’t you say that you first learned your powers were fading the night that first wolf showed up? I remember you saying that you tried to summon your sword and it didn’t work.”

Vee nodded. “Yeah, that’s right. Why?”

Amara scrunched her face slightly as she pulled Vee closer. “Well, it’s just… I mean, I’m a succubus, right? Even though reading your aura is pretty difficult, the more time we spend together, the more practice I have with picking out the details. From my point of view, by the time that first wolf had appeared, your libido had already been getting smaller for a few days, maybe even a week or so.”

An uncomfortable knot appeared in Vee’s stomach. “So, it’s not my powers? Does that mean our libidos just… don’t match up?”

Amara shook her head. “That’s not what I’m trying to imply. Maybe your powers were acting weird for a bit, and you only noticed when you tried to summon your sword. Or maybe it’s something else entirely! Your magic comes from your Patron, right? Maybe they’re trying to break us up, and so they reached into your brain and messed with your sex drive to try and make things more complicated.”

As uncomfortable as it was to think about, the image of a Divine Patron reaching into her head and flicking her horny switch to “Off” made her chuckle. “That seems a little petty, doesn’t it?”

“C’mon, they don’t understand me, or us, or what we see in each other. If the only thing they see is that you’re dating a demon of lust, isn’t messing with your libido the first thing they’d try? Heck, maybe they assume I’ve brainwashed you, and that blocking your libido is the only way you’ll be able to break free of my sinister clutches!” To accentuate the aforementioned clutch, Amara dug her fingers into Vee’s waist and briefly tickled her.

“No! Amara! Everyone is trying to sleep downstairs!” Vee said, trying desperately to hold her laughter in check. She eventually managed to fend off her foul girlfriend by shoving a pillow in her face, at which point they decided to kiss and make up.

With little else to talk about, the exhaustion from their journey finally caught up with them. They repositioned themselves, laying down side by side as they hugged each other tight. After wishing each other a good night’s sleep, exchanging a few additional kisses and a quiet, whispered “I love you,” from each of them, they quickly fell asleep.