Chapter 64.1

Vee nervously paced back and forth across the den, illuminated by the myriad different rays of light drifting in from the nearby windows. Zadkiel’s words rattled around in her head, a discordant chorus of a thousand bells, before she spun to face the archangel once more.“But how? That’s not what— Why would— How?!”

Hope skipped closer and calmly grabbed Vee’s hand. “C’mon, Vee, sit back down. I’m sure this is just some sort of misunderstanding.” She looked back at Zadkiel, still sitting in his armchair next to his piping hot cup of tea. “Right, Daddy?”

“I do not control what our Church on Earth tells those under their command,” Zadkiel said. “But above all else, I promise I am not lying. I still remember the conversation my siblings and I had regarding the decision to fundamentally alter the nature of angels. It was not a course of action we pursued lightly, and that particular debate lasted for many centuries longer than most.”

“It doesn’t make any sense!” Vee said, unexpectedly raising her voice. “I-I feel it myself every time I use my power! It comes from somewhere beyond me, I have to ask it to manifest, just like the Church said.”

Zadkiel briefly furrowed his eyebrows as he took a sip of tea. “That’s… hm. I think I see where the misconception comes from, though I cannot say for certain if this misinterpretation was deliberate or not.” After setting his drink down, Zadkiel gestured to the chair across from himself once more. “I agree with my daughter, Vee. Perhaps it is best you sit down.”

Frustrated at how calm everyone seemed, Vee nonetheless forced herself to sit down. “They told me, time after time, that my angelic powers come from my faith in Heaven. Through that belief, my Patron channels the power of Creation to me, which I then use to enact my desires.”

“That is partially true,” Zadkiel said. “Your power comes from your faith, but crucially, your faith in Heaven.”

“I… I don’t understand.” Vee clutched Hope’s hand more tightly, only just now realizing she’d never released it as she sat back down. “I don’t mean to question your wisdom, archangel Zadkiel, but if not my faith in Heaven, then what? What am I supposed to believe in?” she asked quietly, her words shaking with uncertainty.

“Your power comes from faith, young Vee. Not faith in others, not faith in a higher power; simply the act of believing in and of itself.”

Vee paused. The archangel in front of her spoke with such sincerity, such elegance, that she almost felt silly for thinking his declaration to be overly simplistic. She tried to think back to all the times her powers had manifested, how they’d felt as they appeared, but fighting through the haze of her conflicted emotions proved difficult.

“Daddy, perhaps a bit of context might help?” Hope said quietly. She quietly reached for Vee’s forearm to offer comfort.

“You are wise beyond your years, as always,” Zadkiel said with a warm smile. He took another sip of tea, then began to speak. “The decision to alter the nature of angels was a contentious one, but it needed to be done. All throughout human history, our attempts to assist mankind frequently went awry. Simple instructions were easy to bend, to misinterpret, while attempts to speak directly to mortals only reinforced how little we understood about them. Creatures of the Divine, those who wield Creation, are simply too far removed from the existence humans face.”

“That much I know, the Church explained all of that,” Vee said. “By putting angels on Earth, it became easier to enact change without disrupting humankind.”

“The challenge, young Vee, was how to make that happen. Like I just said, creatures of the Divine are fundamentally different than Mortals, yet we were attempting to create ordinary humans with the ability to harness Creation when needed. In the end, the answer was to fracture their existence.”

“I’m sorry, fracture? That doesn’t exactly sound pleasant.” Vee shivered as she imagined powers beyond her comprehension splitting her in half.

Zadkiel grimaced. “Perhaps not the best choice of words. We opted to… erect a boundary between the mortal angels of Earth and the source of their powers. If your power was truly integrated with your soul, you would cease to be mortal, rendering the whole arrangement pointless.”

“Which is why I need to channel power from my Patron,” Vee muttered. “At least, that’s what I was told.”

Shaking his head, Zadkiel continued. “Such an arrangement isn’t possible. Heaven isn’t simply another plane of existence; it is more vast than any moral mind can fully comprehend. An active connection between an angel and their Patron isn’t just nigh impossible, its presence would actively harm the Earth itself.”

Vee’s breath quickened as the pieces clicked together. “So the only answer was—”

“To give each angel their own source of power, their own connection to the well of Creation. Like I said, young Vee: your power is your own.”

“Then why is it failing me? Are you saying this is all my fault?!” Tears welled in Vee’s eyes as she punched the armrest of Hope’s chair.

Zadkiel held up a hand and the ambient light in the room briefly bent towards him. “I explained this earlier, Vee. Your power, your tether to the infinite Creation of the cosmos, is directly tied to your faith. What do you believe in? Where does your faith lie?”

“I…” Vee hesitated. It sounded so simple when explained by an archangel, yet she couldn’t think of an answer. “I don’t know.”

“Then you have your answer, Vee,” Zadkiel said, reaching for his tea once more. “Your faith has been shaken, and in the absence of that belief, your powers falter.”

“This is a recent change, though,” Vee said. “I had several months where my powers grew stronger with each passing day. The very first time I manifested Enochian flames, I was alone with Amara in Purgatory. How does that make sense?”

Hope squeezed her hand to pull her attention. “How did it happen? What was the context?”

Vee’s face flushed as she thought back to that moment. “Well, I… She, um— We were stranded in Purgatory, and she was really weak, so I…” Nervously glancing up at Zadkiel, Vee reminded herself that she’d already admitted to being in love with Amara. If the archangel had any plans to smite her, he would have done so already. “I, um, let her feed on me. On my arousal, I mean. Hence my confusion; why would my powers grow stronger after such an intimate activity with a demon?”

“It sounds like you had faith in your actions. You believed you were doing the right thing for your friend, and that belief manifested as the flames of Creation,” Hope said, failing to hide another giddy smirk as she listened to yet more details of Vee’s forbidden relationship.

“It can’t be that simple, can it?” Vee asked incredulously. “Just… believing in myself?”

Hearing this, Zadiel shook his head. “You are correct in assuming it is not that simple. It is the belief that your actions are just, the strength of conviction needed to act on those beliefs.”

“Acting on them?” Vee asked. “Is being faithful not enough? I must also act to prove my belief?”

“That isn’t the best way to explain it, but it’s not exactly incorrect, either,” Zadkiel said. “I apologize for the vagueness of what I’m trying to say. Believe me, it is much easier to explain in the language of Creation.”

“It’s called a leap of faith for a reason,” Hope said, cheerfully chipping in. “The point isn’t that you’re taking action to prove your beliefs; it’s that your beliefs are so strong they drive you to make decisions even if you can’t anticipate the outcome. At its heart, isn’t that what faith is?”

“My halo!” Vee exclaimed. “The first time it appeared, the strongest I’ve ever been, was just after I stopped Amara from killing Miss Davenport! I refused to believe she was a killer, so I threw myself between the two of them and stopped the fight. I almost died, my powers were freaking out, but then we finally kissed and admitted our feelings for each other. My halo appeared immediately after!”

Hope let out a small squeal of excitement. “If that’s not a leap of faith, I don’t know what is!”

“So, my fading powers, this weakness I’ve been battling…” Vee tried to think through the last few weeks she’d spent at college. “I was avoiding my home, my past. I was afraid of what the Church might say if they found out about me and Amara.”

“Shame is a powerful motivator,” Zadkiel said.

“I’m not ashamed of who I am! I love Amara more than anything, and I’d do anything to protect her!” Vee protested.

“I did not mean to insinuate that you didn’t, young Vee. But are you willing to proclaim your love to your Church? To Heaven? Your parents? There comes a point where you can no longer play both sides. Inevitably, a choice needs to be made.” As Zadkiel spoke his words grew quiet, almost withdrawn. His gaze, normally clear and powerful, wavered slightly as he turned his attention inward.

As if mirroring his actions, Vee did the same.

The thought disturbed her. She’d observed it, given it form, and now it was impossible to think of anything else. It was only when the archangel across from her spoke up that she managed to shake herself back to reality.

“Hope,” Zadkiel said softly. “I would like to take a walk with Vee. Can I ask that you stay behind while I do?”

With a heavy sigh, Hope quickly looked between Vee and Zadkiel. “Fiiiine. I’ll stay here.”

Zadkiel stood and offered a hand to Vee. The weight of her feelings threatened to pin her down, but the archangel’s kind smile proved refuge enough to lift her spirits, if only for now. She took his hand, stood up, and followed him to the peaceful meadow in front of his cottage.