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“Let’s just say it’ll be a win for everyone.”

Max shoots me a concerned look. She knows my reaction isn’t a good sign, even though my parents seem oblivious. It’s embarrassing as hell, too, to have her witness their lack of propriety and decency. I figured I’d become immune after three years of her seeing their behavior, but the humiliation never seems to weaken.

The only reason she hasn’t left me over their obnoxious behavior—like Selena—is that I pay her.

“Why don’t you let the other party know I’ll be a little late?” I ask Max, desperate to get her away from this farce.

“Of course.” She nods stiffly, then leaves.

As soon as the door closes behind her, Mom turns to me then huffs. If she were a couple decades younger, she’d be tossing her hair over a shoulder with a snort like a homecoming queen in a pique. “Much better. I hate it when she hovers like she has every right.”

“Shedoeshave every right—certainly more thanyou,” I say.

Dad frowns. “Don’t be rude to your mother.”

“Oh, I’m used to it.” Mom sighs and dabs at a nonexistent tear. She should’ve gone into acting. “Rhys, seeing you with a decent wife and a baby will ease your grandmother’s heart. You’re the oldest. She’s worried about you.”

I’m actually speechless. She’s just started worryingnow? After letting my parents run wild for decades? What nice woman would want to settle down and marry me? Even if she did, would she stay after seeing my messed-up, ridiculous parents?

“You don’t have tostaymarried. Just long enough to make it look respectable. Then divorce the woman and keep the baby,” Dad says. “You have no idea how much your birth kept your grandmother occupied. It was fantastic.”

“It was terrible when the effect wore off. But, of course, one can always have another child. That was the main reason we decided to keep Liam.”

Dad nods sympathetically and pats Mom’s hand.

What have I done to deserve this torment?“So what makes you think she’ll suddenly care about an eighth baby?”

“Because it’ll be her firstgreat-grandchild. Something new.” Dad’s tone says I must not be very bright to not realize that.

“So, marry someone, get her pregnant, then divorce her and keep the baby, which in turn will keep Grandma occupied and off everyone’s backs. That about it?”

Dad and Mom both nod, pleased that we’re finally all on the same page.

“No. I’m not going to be heartless toward some innocent woman,” I say, not bothering to hide my disgust. “Especially not in response to a scandal I’m about to rip into pieces.”

“What scandal?” Dad looks genuinely confused.

“The ‘high school senior’? Except she’s really twenty-six? And supposedly pregnant with my child?”

“Oh, that,” Mom says with a light laugh. “She’s a stripper, too. Totally not in high school. I don’t know why they reported it like that. Very unfair to you.”

Dread starts burning in my gut. “How do you know all that?”

Dad leans forward. “Okay, you can’t tell your grandmother…but it was reallyme.” A hint of bone-deep satisfaction glints in his eyes, like a teenage boy admitting to finally kissing a girl he has a major crush on.

“What thefuck? Did you pay her to lie?”

“Didn’t have to. I just told her my name was Rhys.”

Oh my freakin’ God. “Why?”

“Because she invited me to a threesome. So, I was a little drunk at this nice strip club,” Dad says, warming to his story. “I’ll take you later if you want. Anyway, by the time I realized what was going on, it turned out that the threesome was with only one girl, which I’ve never done before. Because, you know, I’ve always been with two girls, but this time there was this other guy—”

TM-fucking-I. “You should’ve walked away!”

“Oh, I never give up a chance to try something new. Anyway, she asked me for my name, and I was about to tell her. But thenyour grandmother’s disapproving face popped into my head and…well, your name just sort of slipped out.”

“It just…slipped out. Like a fish from a net.”