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Grandmother is too outraged to speak. She breathes hard as she tries to calm down, while Max just blinks at my mom. I’m torn between agreeing and shaking my head—Max does have magnificent breasts, as inappropriate as the comment was.

My brothers merely stuff their mouths—they know better than to offer an opinion before the elders of the family. Grandfather looks at his glass of water balefully, probably hoping for something strong, but his medication doesn’t react well with alcohol. He’s most definitely going to have a talk with his doctor after this dinner.

I gesture at Max to go ahead and eat. She needs something to make the moment more bearable, and Grandmother always hires the best caterers in the state. I open one of the bottles I brought. Vodka is the only thing that can salvage this dinner for me.

Flicking his eyes at Grandmother, Dad clears his throat. As unruly as his behavior might be, he’s still slightly scared of his mother, like a rebellious teenager who can’t quit caring about his parents’ opinion. “Max is hot—and I’d totally do her, too, if I were you—but it’s rude to ignore your grandmother’s effort. Her list of candidates is, um, long.”

“Long doesn’t mean better,” Liam mutters.

“Actually, length is very important,” Dad corrects him. “Nobody wants a short man. Or dick.”

“I wouldn’t have married your father if his dick hadn’t beenreallylong,” Mom adds helpfully.

I put a hand over my face in despair, then steal a quick glance at Max between my fingers. She’s nibbling on her food. From theintense focus, it looks like she hasn’t heard, although I know she did and has an opinion.

What is she thinking?

I glare at my parents. How can they be this consistently embarrassing?

Finn, Roarke, Silas, Gideon, Xavier and Liam all gesture for the vodka. I pass it off to Roarke, since he’s the closest, then grab another and hand it to Xavier. Grandfather watches us like he’d trade his soul for a sip—he used to love indulging in top-shelf liquors.

Grandmother glares at Dad, ignoring the bottles being passed around. “As was mentioned, Rhys, you should’ve given my list some consideration.”

“Listen to your grandmother,” Grandfather finally says, although thankfully his tone is softer and more diplomatic than it would be if Max weren’t here. “It’s important to respect her efforts. She only wants the best.”

“Exactly.” Mom smiles. “If you’re open abouteverything, nothing you do will ever damage your relationship with Max.”

My gut knots. I look at her in resignation and embarrassment, wishing I were anywhere but here.

Max’s eyes narrow. This isn’t her first rodeo with my parents. She knows exactly what they’re implying.

Frederich appears, thankfully interrupting the flow of conversation. He clears everyone’s plate, including mine, then serves us salad before disappearing. The only person who looks happy at all the greens is Grandmother.

“Don’t worry. No pedigree beats a pretty face and perky tits.” Dad winks at Max.

“Looks fade, breasts sag,” Grandmother says.

“Well,” Max says with a smile as sweet as poisoned sugar, “since I’m the youngest here, mine will always be the perkiest in this room.”

My hand tightens around my fork.Just exactly how pissed off is she?

“Maybe not. My plastic surgeon ishighlycapable,” Mom says.

Grandmother regards them both as though they’re intellectually challenged, then turns to me. “Thisis why you always look at the breeding.”

“Right,” Max says, laying a hand on mine. “Like a pig farmer.”

Grandfather gasps. My jaw goes slack with surprise, and I stare at Max. I didn’t expect her to sass my grandmother, but should’ve expected it. She isn’t the type to take abuse lying down.

The knot in my belly eases slightly. If she’s giving it back, she hasn’t hit the point of no return, right? This is a woman who might be able to actually handle my family.

Gideon chokes on something, then coughs violently.

Grandmother’s face turns cold with disapproval. “Manners!”

Finn pounds Gideon’s back. “Can’t worry about manners if he’s dying.”

“Good God! How have you been raising these children?” Grandmother demands of Mom.