BECMI Chapter 149 – Chatter in the Coliseum

Belle and I flew out slowly together, settling in just outside the slightly lower area cleared away from the temple approach. The Beastials jeered and then cheered as the first brute, a three-eyed, rather hunched hulk with dirty yellow hide, massive muscles, overlong arms, and a pointed skull about half the size it should be ambled out into the arena, raising a cacophony of cheers. He had a very big tetsubo clutched in two hands with wrists so thick they probably weren’t there. The Weapon was rippling with magical energies to my eyes, and the thumping impact it made cratered the floor of the arena slightly, raising the deafening volume of the crowd even higher. Crude but serviceable armor hung about its vitals, endowed with too many spikes and skulls.I Said back to the lines watching from three hundred yards away, and to our elites who were gathered closer, awaiting their turns at fighting.

Lasers streaked across the sky, hundreds of them going off at once. Signal flares became fireworks, booming across the undersky and completely silencing the crowd of Beastials with the flash and bangs of thunder echoing and re-echoing off the stones. In magically-enhanced stereo, the swept out of a dozen speaker systems, the bass of the opening longhorns shaking the very ground as Skarvald stepped forth.

Behind him, a three-hundred foot tall hologram displayed the wolf and axe that was his coat of arms, letting anyone who was at all informed know who was coming, given his fame… not that these Beastials had the slightest idea, uneducated as they were.

Skarvald, of course, had an ear-to-ear grin on his face as he strode magnificently forth under music and his own emblem, every eye upon him, cloak billowing out behind him, every inch the barbarian warlord come to conquer.

I informed him as he strode past. His Amulet would likely protect him against any hostile spells, but you never knew. He gave me a side-eye to acknowledge he’d heard, but that was all. He probably resented me thinking he needed the help, but I didn’t care. If it gave him another edge to win, fine enough.

The rather shocked Beastial gaped at the towering display behind the much smaller opponent who was approaching him with such confidence, but just a glance behind him steeled his courage. He bellowed and beat the jotun-sized, ironclad spiked club on the ground with admittedly devastating force, flexing and showing his might.

None of us particularly cared. Skarvald let his cloak drop, except it wafted off to Belle’s hands, waiting for him as he readied his Axe… which was Burning a sepulchral black flame that was definitely hostile to look upon, and had a gleaming wet crimson edge to the head and back-spike upon it.

The two opponents sized one another up from about forty yards apart, and then a long horn rose in the , and seemed to be a signal for both of them to burst into motion.

The first thing to notice was that the pinheaded creature wasn’t raging like a barbarian, his stumpy, short feet balanced and stable instead of wild and savage. His tetsubo snapped into the proper position for a strike that could flick out on multiple arcs, denoting that this brute had some formal combat training.

However, he was not trained against highly skilled Fighter-types, but his own people and monsters, and that meant he was not at all prepared for the stunts a skilled melee combatant, instead of a brute and savage one, could pull off.

Skarvald went skidding by as the mutant stomped past him, his Shield taking the off-center hit, and chopped his Axe into the thick leg as he did so, triggering the .

With a flashing ripple of magic tearing apart, a half-dozen Buffs went away on the pinheaded yellow brute, instantly having an effect on his speed and power, very obvious as he attempted to spin and was visibly moving much more slowly as he did so.

Skarvald was already on his feet, leaping confidently to the attack.

Me spending a Rune of Magic on his Axe was fine, the did what it was supposed to do. I watched the Avatar bend forwards when it went off, grimacing as the magic on the pinhead was ripped apart, and suddenly the mutant was much, much more vulnerable to the hacking Axe of the barbarian… and the brute obviously couldn’t do a return himself.

Holos from televideo cameras and projectors showed the fight in the sky, the Beastials blinking as the images actually gave them a closer view than their own seating did. I was very, very, so very tempted to do a play-by-play…

Well, fuck it, like I cared. I didn’t even have to move to Cast, after all.

“Hi, everyone, and welcome to the Niflheim Fast Entry Gladiatorial Competition! Sorry I got here a bit late, my Summoner seems a bit busy…”

Yes, it was using my voice, but so chipper and sweet that Belle actually jumped to hear it.

“Well, on with the show! For all you newcomers here wondering who’s who, we have the great Ulgosh the Big Fist on the side of the savage and cannibalistic underground humanoids, going up against the marauding merciless barbarian called Skarvald, who likes to be referred to as the Axe of the North!

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“Oh, I trust everyone saw that go off, and Ulgosh the Big Fist’s clerical Buffs have all gone away now, truly unfortunate. The mighty Skarvald is going to the attack, watch that shieldwork as he takes the tetsubo and stands against it, a nice chop across the gut there rends some mail, but I see at least a foot of blubber he’s going to need to get through on the gut there, Ulgosh didn’t even notice it.

...”Our two combatants are circling, looking for the opening, looks like the human’s got a bit of a speed edge, while Ulgosh definitely has the reach. Ho, look at that scramble, and woah! A good blow to the right knee, if that’s a knee! That’s got to be a pain with all that weight, but before he stumbles, Ulgosh crashes a blow into the barbarian and sends him flying before he can follow up!

...”Skarvald seems okay, the blow probably bounced off his ego, folks. He’s coming back in while Ulgosh is hobbling, but the big fellow is doing a good job fending him off with that ironshroom stalk he’s waving about like a locust’s antennae or something. Skarvald’s trying to hack the stick out of the way, and it’s not working well as Ulgosh is literally pushing him around, and those spikes are nobody’s joke…

...”Nice shield hook and pivot, look at that, the human put his full weight on the stick and dragged it down and out of the way with a nice roll over the top of it! Oh, the follow-up! Robe cut! Undergutting! And a tree chopping finisher, triple combo move! Look at that orange jugular blood spraying out! Ulgosh gets in one big final hit, sends the barbarian flying, but that wound on his neck isn’t closing at all, which seems to be surprising the big fellow. Come to think of it, he was acting as if he should be able to get back up on his hamstrung leg, but that didn’t happen, either…

… “There he goes, folks, bleeding out on the stones, off to Niflheim, the winner of this round of the fighting! Let’s give a nice round of applause for the mighty Ulgosh for going out fighting, and hope he gets a better shake in his next life as he heads on Down with pride.”

The Beastials looked pretty confused as they started clapping for their fallen champion, looking around to see who was doing the announcing and wondering what the heck was going on.

I was just staring dourly at the fighting, obviously not saying anything. Belle was trying really, really hard not to smile in terrible amusement as the breathless diatribe in Magevoice continued without let-up now, while behind us the army and my Company were listening in utter disbelief as something with my voice kept up a constant patter. No need to draw breath certainly helped.

“As our marauding surface-dweller hacks off the head of the mighty Ulgosh for his trophy and trots on forth, here’s a word from our sponsor, Ukker Metals and Mining:

I was sure all the dwarves back there were blinking in utter disbelief, but I was having fun, so why not? I did make a show of closing my eyes and bowing my head, shaking it slightly, and just sighed and soldiered on.

Skarvald looked just as confused as he reclaimed his cloak while carrying the head, looking at me. I rolled my eyes up at the stone ceiling, he started to say something, shook his head, and kept on walking.

“Our next contestant in the fighting looks to be Garilga the Thrice-Clawed!” proving its value once again. “Let’s hear a big cheer from our locals for the champion coming into the fighting arena! It looks like there’s nobody cleaning up the blood, but we’ll leave that up to the preferences of the local Immortal, it seems!” the unseen announcer continued as a quartet of brawny locals dragged the headless carcass of Ulgosh out of the way for the next fight. There was bleating and roaring and shrieking as the ten-foot thing, which looked like a somewhat smaller athach proto-giant, albeit with a bright crimson hide and bony flat crest making his head look like it wanted to be a glider, strode into the place with spears in his side hands and a hefty morningstar in his middle arm, tusks rising high and proud and dripping stuff that hissed and flared as it hit the stones in his enthusiasm.

“It looks like our sponsor, Prince Ukker, is going to be taking the big fellow!” There was a deep rumbling set of horns, and then solemn drums as Ukker blinked and began his trot forwards, taking the time to add an extra Infusion or two… and for his opponent.

Garilga the Thrice-Clawed was going to find out what Slayer Achievements unlocking Favored Enemy Masteries did.

Prince Ukker trotted on by, glancing at me and really wanting to say something as the nonstop patter from Upcast on Magevoice was speaking, saw that I wasn’t saying anything, looked confused, and then heard me say clearly, quite clearly underneath the clear and continuous spiel going on for everyone’s benefit.

He just grunted, completely unafraid. There’d been whole tribes with variants of those abilities, this one was just a bit bigger… and he had Dwarven anti-Jotun training, what was he scared of anything that much bigger than him for?

“And we haaaaave another winner, on his proud way to Niflheim in style and power! Look at that cloven skull! You wouldn’t think such a short fellow could reach all the way up there to do the job, but our intrepid miner seems to have the right of it! Garilga is heading off to greet his Immortal Patron in pride and honor, and we’re onto round three of the Niflheim Fast Entry Gladiatorial Games. While we wait for his body to be hauled off and that interesting shade of magenta blood to mix into the sands there, a word from

The Greens all looked simultaneously confused and amused, and were definitely trying to find the source of the voice.

The next one up was going to go to Elder Equavus, who was definitely itching to show off his skills. These poor, deluded Beastials had no concept of using the Mageblade disciplines, and had no idea that and similar spells could be unleashed right through a Weapon without any visible spellcasting.

It wasn’t going to be much of a fight, and that was entirely the idea for the Lord of the Elves in the north…