Chapter 99: Hell’s Grannies

Chapter 99: Hell’s Grannies

Miles away from the meteor explosion a large burnt object bounced and crashed, Pilar groaned as he pulled himself from the wreckage, his cybernetic limbs sparking and twitching. His monstrous transformation was completely gone, leaving him in his original—albeit heavily damaged—cybernetic human form. He patted himself down, half expecting to be missing something vital.

"Holy Shit! I’m alive."

He laughed weakly, barely believing it himself. The last thing he remembered was Rebecca’s gravity attack and the damn meteor. That should have been the end. But somehow, against all odds, he was still breathing.

His moment of relief was short-lived.

The distant hum of engines rumbled through the wasteland, growing louder. He turned his head just in time to see a group of motorcycles kicking up dust as they roared toward him. The riders skidded to a stop, surrounding him in a loose circle.

His cybernetic eyes adjusted, scanning the newcomers. And what he saw made his stomach drop.

The riders dismounted with eerie synchronization—elderly women, clad in matching pink spring dresses, their faces lined with experience and mischief. Each one wielded a rolling pin like a seasoned warrior brandishing a blade.

It was Maud’s Muggers.

A roving gang of elderly women with a thirst for violence.

Pilar blinked.

"What in the actual—"

Before he could finish, the leader of the gang, a feisty old woman with a devilish grin, stepped forward. Adjusting the bonnet atop her silver curls and the pearl necklace around her wrinkled neck. She had a grin that spoke of decades of unrepentant crime. Her name was Malefic Maud, and despite her delicate floral attire, she carried herself like a battle-hardened warlord.

"Well, well, well."

She drawled, looking him up and down.

"Looky what we have here, ladies. Another unsuspecting ponce!"

The gang of elderly women let out a synchronized cackle, their dentures gleaming ominously in the deeming light.

Pilar tried to stand, but his body was sluggish, his daemonic powers completely drained along with his shattered crystal. He glanced down at himself—cybernetic parts exposed, barely functioning.

"Oh, come on."

He groaned.

"At least let me—"

WHACK!

Pilar groaned, trying to push himself up from the first rolling pin hit.

"You’ve gotta be shitting me."

WHACK!

A rolling pin cracked across his temple, sending him spinning. Before he could react, another slammed into his gut, sending him sprawling back onto the dirt.

"Respect your elders, you little shit!"

One of the muggers barked, bringing her rolling pin down onto his back.

The beating continued. Pilar tried to block, but for every limb he raised, three more rolling pins struck in retaliation. It was like being attacked by an army of violent grandmothers.

One of them grabbed him by the collar and forced him to look into her eyes.

"Search him!"

Maud commanded.

Before he could protest, bony hands were all over him, patting him down with alarming efficiency. His cybernetic limbs twitched as the elderly outlaws pilfered every last valuable from his body—loose scrap, wiring, and even his shattered power crystal.

One of the muggers, Agony Agnes, yanked his boot off and inspected it.

"Tsk, tsk. Cheap materials."

"I had a rough day!"

Pilar barked, only to get anotherWHACKacross the head.

Maud leaned down with a smirk.

"You got anything else on you, sweetheart? We’d hate to leave a poor boy like you withnothing."

Pilar groaned, spitting out a loose tooth staring up at the clouds.

"Does my dignity count?"

Maud laughed.

"Not in this economy."

"Well, that ain’t worth much."

By the time they were done, Pilar was left groaning in the dirt, utterly humiliated.

With that, the muggers mounted their bikes, revving their engines. They had ransacked his cybernetic parts, looting anything of value—his scrap parts, his power crystal (which was already shattered but still looked shiny), and even the spare change in his pocket.

"Pleasure doin’ business with ya, sweetheart. Try not to die too soon, wouldn’t want to miss round two."

Maud blew him a kiss before speeding off into the wasteland, leaving Pilar flat on his back in the dust, broken, battered, and thoroughly robbed stripped of everything but his shame.

He coughed, staring at the cloudy sky.

"I hate this place."

The wasteland was never kind, but this? This was justcruel.

Pilar barely had time to process his mugging before he heard it—the unmistakable sound of branches snapping under somethingmassive.His cybernetic eyes flickered, his systems struggling to reboot after the beating he took.

Then he saw it.

A fucking bear.

But not just any bear. This one was a Yao Guai, a huge—walking slab of mutated muscle and rage, with scars across its matted fur and radioactive saliva dripping from its jagged maw. Its beady eyes locked onto Pilar, and there was no mistaking its intent.

"Uh oh."

Roar!

The beast roared, a deep, guttural sound that rattled his insides. Then it charged.

Pilar scrambled, but his battered cybernetic less body failed him. His limbs twitched uselessly as he tried to crawl backward.

"Not like this! Not like this!!!"

CRUNCH.

The Yao Guai pounced, its sheer weight crushing him into the dirt. Clawed paws the size of dinner plates hammered down, each blow snapping something vital in his already ruined body.

Pilar screamed.

For a moment.

Then the screaming stopped.

The wasteland fell silent except for the sickening sounds of ripping flesh and splintering bone.

By the time the Yao Guai lumbered off, licking the last remnants of its brutal feast from its maw, nothing remained of Pilar except scraps of cybernetics and a red stain in the dirt.

This time, there was no coming back.

Ding!

"Oh thank god he’s really gone for good this time."

Six said sighing in relieve.

Rebecca, still breathing heavily from the battle, wiped the sweat and grime off her forehead.

"Yousurethis time? No more plot armor bullshit?"

Six checked the quest log again, tapping through the system interface.

"Yup. That dumbass came in his original body. So no respawn shenanigans, no last-minute soul transfer, no ’Oh no, I actually had a backup body!’ crap. The systemconfirmshe’s dead. Like, digestion levels of dead. That means no more invasions from him."

Rebecca exhaled and leaned against a rock, closing her eyes.

"Good. If we had to kill that bastard one more time, I swear, I was gonna start charging rent in his skull."

Six chuckled and stretched, feeling the weight of the battle finally lifting.

"Welp, that’s one less problem in the wasteland."

He turned to Rebecca.

"Want to celebrate? I can cook up some Mirelurk steaks."

Rebecca smirked.

"Only if you let me shoot a rocket at the spot he died. Just for good measure."

Six grinned.

"Hell, make it two."